Friday, December 14, 2007


I was hooked up on the TV show felicity way back highschool. For one, the song that u are hearing right now is a personal favorite and its from that show. And a Filipina sang it! Proudly Filipina go! But I always loved the show because during that time I could very well relate to it, it pierced deep and probably until now there is still that part of me who could very much understand how felicity felt. Sigh if only love stories always do have happy endings.

Enough of the are some of my favorite quotes from the show, they're the best if not the most heartwarming...if not the funniest...and they're my top 10

1. The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.
2. That would have been hard. I mean, how do you tell somebody you're trying to steal their boyfriend?
3. I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything. I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us, and that our mission is to never let it.
4. I guess I'm learning, little by little, that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us, but it is our reactions that matter.
5. Domestication is the enemy of romance.
6. Noel: And your hair's not so bad.
Felicity: Liar, you hate it.
7. Ben, everybody has to figure out who they are eventually.
8. I've become a real believer in not defining every single thing. Seems like everytime you think you've figured out what something is, it just becomes something else.
9. Felicity: You know that stuff will kill you.
Noel: Something will. Might as well be cheese spray.
10. Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.

the 90s and the music...sigh...i was so pathetic back then

Back in the 90s, the stars sang songs like this, and rocked our worlds

There were even those who donned songs promoting family planning

take note of the lines..."come a little bit closer baby...get it on...get it on...cause tonight, is the night...when two become one..."

some of my friends even danced to this tune during senior's night in highschool, now all of them are in denial they did it..hehe...

as for us girls, we were forced to don mini skirts and spandex to dance this...
(sigh) she was every girl's idol way back and was every old man's i really dunno what happened to her...probably she got lost in the lyrics..."and to lose all my senses...that is just so typically me...oops i did it again"

Now, there is less of the weird costumes and hair...and left eye from TLC died in a car accident...

Britney's tabloid material
Lance from NSYNC admitted he's gay

and Beyonce still is rocking on...

so much for the 90s, i wish 2008 would bring about a fit of much memorable divas, personalities, and laughs i could tell my kids later on.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Small Prayers, why they work, and why they sometimes dont

As I was surfing the net and at the same time asking God on what I should do with my life as of the moment (i will be jobless by christmas), I stumbled upon the article at with the title "Small Prayers Get Answered". It caught my attention so I decided to read on. It was about a man who had lost a yellow hat for years and prayed to God that his hat be found. The next day he was offered a temporary job at his dentist and while he was about his menial tasks, he saw his hat, all dusty and old above his dentist's cabinet. Surprise! Surprise! But yes, his small prayer got answered.

Inspired by the hat story, I decided to continue on searching the net for just about anything that would be related to prayer. I wanted to look for a prayer to help me find a job immediately after I lost this one. And yes, like that prayer that the man prayed, i prayed that i would find what he (the lord) wants to tell me now considering my situation and the website got my attention. The title of the blog was "Why Prayers Don't Work" Phew! Twas a complete contradiction of what I read on the previous site with the yellow hat thing. But it got my attention and so I read on, convinced that along those lines, there would be answers.

The site was an interesting read. But what it basically implied was our prayers sometimes do not work because we fear too much, and we trust less. The fact that we lack belief on ourselves and on the power of the divine adds up to it not coming true. If one therefore believed in his heart of hearts that his prayer would come true, it wont just be the Lord working, it would also be the person himself. Then comes the power of positive thinking. A man they say thinketh and so he becomes. Thus, if we desire to be successful, we must act to be one, and continuously believe with the help of the Lord that indeed we could be.

Then it got me into thinking that indeed there was some point to what Dakotta (the blogger's name) was saying. Based from experience, only those that I really really desired and worked hard for became mine. Working hard for something also means that one is affirming the need for it in one's life. That there is a reason big enough that it should be given to you.

Before I read the article, I had doubts regarding what would happen to me afterwards. I am the kind who makes sure everything is in place, I am the kind who makes sure that there are no loopholes in what I do. But there are times when things go out of control. That despite all my valiant efforts to succeed, still something wrong comes to show its angry butt. I realized now, that we could only do so little by ourselves, especially if we have doubt. We must believe that we are given all that we need. That we are capable of making our dreams come true. Only then if we believe that we could would it happen. No setback, trial or failure could get in the way of that if you have the drive.

We must have purpose in our lives. Something that is worth living for. Something that is worth praying and believing for. We could do it on our own, but only until when? Which leads me back to my experience now, I was forced to resign out of a job I like, my dad's sick with a thousand bucks a day of medication, and we (my family) are running out of cash fast. Some would say, phew, you sure are one unlucky person, where's the four leaf clover eh? But as for me, after reading what God has wanted me to realize, I now know I could be who I want to be. I now know we'd make it through what we are going through.

When asked during college that if I were given the chance to ask for one of the seven gifts of the holy spirit what would it be and why.

I smiled. Looked back at the facilitator and said just one word.


I know my small prayer had worked. God had answered fast. I just need to believe that I can and he can make my bigger prayer come true.

I just need to have faith.
More and more of it.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Fall for anything by Jeremy Fisher

i just happened to like the lyrics of this song...its so appropriate for what i feel right now...and yes...i have to stand up for something...or i will also fall for anything

Is the world so big it makes you feel small
Is the hole you dig even deep enough at all
The graveyard's full my grandma used to say
If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything

Is time worth saving in paper dollar bills
Coz we always just done it don't mean we always will
Is it worth singing along if you have a song to sing
If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything

Can one single person make a change if they try
It's true all the martyrs that ever lived already died
Is the road so long we're gonna have to drive
If you don't stand for something you will fall too far behind

Is there meaning in all these words that we say
Is there a reason for living life anyway
Is confusion a state like Iowa or Maine
If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything

Are the waters so rough coz we try to scrub em clean
Do we mean the things we do, do we do the things we mean
When a child is born is it coz she has sinned
If she tries to stand for something will she take the fall for everything

When the day has come and your shadow's lost its light
Will you see in the darkness who was wrong and who was right
Will the devil pay your tab and take you home with him
Coz you either stand for something or you fall for anything

Saturday, November 17, 2007

What they could not take away

To someone stumbling accidentally on this blog, he or she would probably think this girl really is all "emo" and sure has the whole world collapsing down her shoulders. I know its what other people would say, because just awhile ago, I was thinking the same thing. Why was the whole world beginning to collapse on me? What did I do wrong?

Life has this weird way of piercing us with needles. It could either bleed blood or feel as though you have gone on one acupuncture session to relieve your pain. But my life has been more of the needles drawing out blood. My cross has gone heavier in the last few days and though I try hard to be strong and to face the world with my chin held high, I could not stop the tears from falling. I could not help it, though I show my strength, I still am weak.

As of now, I know I have yet alot to learn. Which makes this job probationary. Nobody has shown me the ropes, again, I was on my own, little did I know, I was literally that. On my own. No help from other departments by which you have helped, no concern from people who should have been responsible in the first place. The load was placed on my shoulders, and there is no one there to help me carry but myself. Now, I am deciding not because I feel betrayed, hurt, and left behind, I am deciding because I feel there is no use doing something and giving your heart to an institution who does not care about what you have accomplished anyway but only sees the faults. I feel there is no use in me staying as the system could not be changed, not by someone like me that is.

Am just darn thankful that I found out sooner. At least I only invested five months. But I loved my job here. No, it was not that easy, and no the responsibilities are not that simple as well, but what was worst is that you are left to hang in mid-air without any support from the supposedly people who would support you. It has been hard and I did not expect this to happen. I do not care anymore if the owner said that because he was mad, but the fact that he said it and he shouted it means only one thing. They do not need me here and that I am as indispensible as a room service waiter who had really done something wrong. No, they did not see that their own system has its loopholes. They did not see that the previous one who handled this position did little to change it, even did little to monitor it. All they saw were a few minor details that was not even under my responsibility in the first place. Which is why I decided I had to leave. I had cried enough tears, but I would still hold my head high because though they pay me, they do not own me. I still have my own rights and I am willing to stick to it.

I was surprised upon hearing awhile ago that he has plans of terminating me. He does not even know the whole picture yet he does not even ask for my own reason behind such matter. I was at the other property conducting a food safety seminar and he wanted me out just because he saw some leaking faucets here while I was not around. Do I have to repair the faucets myself? Is it not another department's job? Why then do I have to be blamed for something I do not even handle?

I believe life though its needles sometimes draws blood, will also always be a wheel turning on its own. It would never be the same all the time. Today he holds power, one day, that same power would be the cause of his own downfall. I will not be defeated, nor will I grovel for something that possibly should not have been mine. I will not beg that they keep me in this job. Come Monday, they will see that resignation letter on the office and it will be my time to prove myself. It is not my loss. I know, because only few would fall for this job at such a low pay. My pride is not even worth the salary I receive. Why then think its a complete waste?

The Lord would never leave me. I know he's beside me right now listening to what I am saying. They could take away my job but they could never take away what I have earned on my own. They could never take away my own self respect.

Someday, I will rise on my own two feet and prove them wrong. They could not take that away from me. I will focus on what they could not take, and by the time I am healed, I will be stronger, better and definitely on top of life's little wheel.