workaholic

a pit-pat on the screen
with eyes blinking
adjusting
slowly
to the white
light
of LED

coffee spilled
on some notes
with scribbling
marked as
urgent
while
a mobile phone
alarm
beeped incessantly
showing
time
to be way past 10pm

cool air
penetrating
through drone
like sounds
of airconditioning
while the road
outside
seemed to
grow
more silent
by the minute

a man with his
head
on the table
amidst clutter
and spilled coffee
was suddenly
awakened by
the ringing
of a phone

a broken
promise to
be home
by nine

the shrill sound
of a siren
on the background
drowned
by the words
of a woman
a doctor
telling him
the missus
met an accident
while he
was busy
with paper
now
meaningless

as the screen
showed a pit-pat
with eyes blinking
tears
and a realization
that its now
too late
to keep
a promise

fighting bears

a ticker screen
with a green
which turned
into a
yellow
then a
red
in less
than 5 minutes
with cash
flowing
down the
drain
and
fear creeping
in
like a
thief
crawling
steadily
fast
its bag
full of everything
that i had
earned
for the
past 2
months
now wondering
where
did the
bull go
and why
did the
bear come
back
to clutch
its reigns
on me
on money
on fear

but like
everyone else
trading
stocks
i'd stay put
mind cleared
thoughts intact
hoping
that would
be enough
to fight
the bear
and turn
that
ticker screen
from a
red
to a
green

colorblind

sometimes
you stare
deep
and try
to gauge
what's
wrong
and odd
based
on what
you
think
is right

as if
the world
turned
on
your
wheels
like
a hamster
with its
feet
running
running
endlessly

only
to realize
that
its
not the
colors
so
bright
nor the
picture
that is
wrong

but
the
way
you
see
things

Of Swan Lake and Pussycat Dolls

movements
coordinated with
every thump
every pause
like
pit
pat
thump
like
one
two
three
eyes
concentrating
to movements
not understood
arms moving
up and down
head
swaying
side
to side
movements
now
imitated
from
a tube
with colors
a three
year old
who
dreams of
becoming
a ballerina
dancing
to Pussycat dolls

:) For my 3 year old niece Ela,hope you'd see this someday and laugh.

overachiever

photo by s.calvert.dpchallenge.com

a pile of papers
on a messed up desk
a computer screen
flashing
flashing
white
light
a cup of coffee
spilled
some breadcrumbs
littered
a fan
electric
whirring
turning around
but the room
remains
damp
eerie

a certificate
hangs
on the wall
a reminder
of medals
and honors
achieved

a ballpoint pen
ink
oozing
on paper
notes
scribbled
trashed
on a bin
adjacent to
an unmade bed

where a girl
lay
dead
while clutching
a card
with
a grade
just a
point
short
of being
the best

If

photo by malou marquez-www.malousky.multiply.com

If I could count the words and tell
What the mind has failed to see
If I do know my thoughts so well
Why can't they let me be
If a clock's tick could stop for once
I'd fall into my dreams
I'd be a victor in this dance
Of pain and joy it seems
But then as all could not be good
And thorns do prick to bleed
I'd stand up again from where I stood
And love the one I need

poem written for the school paper way back college.

soaring...

To feel the air brushing against your face
To experience pressure in greater heights
If one would believe then one could soar
Into realms not yet discovered and dreams yet fulfilled
Into that next stage, into that next frontier
It does not take a fairy tale for wishes to come true
Around you, you have what is essential for your flight
You just have to believe that you have wings
And then you can fly...

tears

written: june 2006 at myspace

he said cry your tears
then it would all fade away
he told me you'd soon forget
the way he made you sway
but the emptiness stayed
you wondered when it would be gone
you still cried those tears
though it seems there be none
none to hope
and none to feel
none to hold on
but one big thing to deal
life can be harsh
sometimes its even cruel
but what has bruised you bad
really does sometimes rule
but then in the end
it all comes down to this
he told you those words
and it seems you've missed
what he said behind your tears
what he wants you to see
he'll erase all those fears
if you'll just set your heart free
now its too late to turn back
he's with someone else
and you're alone with what you lacked
and this poem makes no sense
what i'm trying to say
is love before its gone
look behind your back
he may just be the one
for in the end you'd realize
if you wont believe this is true
is that you may have allowed
that one person to slip
yes, that one person for you.

little things (wrote last june 2008 at myspace)

photo by: karen tribett

bleed your tears then let them dry
ask yourself if you've done wrong and why
wallow in self pity, you're entitled to it sometimes
ask why you're not worthy, to possess just that dime
but you dance to life's tune, believe there's still hope
a rainbow behind the storm, one should not stop to mope
about things that have gone wrong
sometimes they really do
what one has to do is to be strong
believe you could really pull through
we all have our bruises , we all have our pains
we all had experienced glory, we all had gains
but if you look back you'd realize you had been happy before
you had little, you had less, but you had much more
no amount of wealth, nor success could replace real friends
those who would stick with you, through pain in the end
happiness is but fickle for those who aspire too much
realize your worth and you'll realize it does not mean such
life could be a pain, usually it even bleeds deep
but it also wakes you up to the things that you should keep
those that you hold dear, those that matter the most
those which make you smile, some you may think as ghosts
ghosts which you could really reach
if you'd open your eyes, if you'd seek
these little things that will always be real
these little things, they will always be true
despite the world's trials
these little things will stick
by you.


(written: june8, 2008: myspace blog)

a poem called flu

holding back a sniffle or two
believing there is
a cure for you

i wipe my nose dry
only to see
you have come
back
again for me

i tried to calm myself
to breathe in
breathe out
i try to relax
left no room
for doubt
that you'd soon go away
you'd soon let me be
you'd leave me to sleep
peacefully and free

but then you stayed
like an incessant prick
i am feeling worst
i am feeling sick

and so am left with no choice
but to
sneeze you out
bad virus called
flu

things will go my way

chasing dreams
like kites
floating
in the air
only to be
falling down
again
with a gust
of wind
strong enough
to pull
me down
yet never
strong enough
to stop
me
from trying
to soar
high
yet again

reasons

you write things down

because

writing

is much easier

than actually saying

things

you act things out

because you

know people

would understand more

of what you want

them to

understand

and feel

you feel things much

because

you know

that in feeling

something

you're convincing

yourself you're human

and

alive

you reach for your dreams

because

you know

that though

stars are hard to

reach

they sometimes

fall too

you love though it hurts

because you

know

you only

live once

and its better

to have loved

than never to

have loved at

all

you dance to no music

and smile to yourself

because you

know

there's more to life

than pain

there's those

moments

that would make

your heart

flutter too

you go to work

everyday

because even though

you won't admit it

there's more to it

than just the paycheck

there's people you care

about

people you could not imagine leaving

people who have

somehow

now been a part of

you

of me

you read my words

despite the fact

that you think

this makes no

sense

that it goes

on

and

on

but though long

you could

relate

so you

read

this phrases

of one or two

and you

smiled

you thought

things over

because like

me

you're

thinking

you're dreaming

you know

you feel

you love

you dream

you hope

you

are

alive

take me away

take me away

to where dreams

are but realities

and goals

are but achieved

take me away

to where the end

meets the beginning

and life collides

only to end up

being one

take me away

into a land

where change

is but inevitable

but leads to

something better

take me away

to where i could

forget the past

and indulge

in the promises

of tomorrow

yet to come

take me away

to where you and me

are but reasons

to exist

side by side

take me away

to where its just

us both

only for a day

where reasons

end

where dreams

begin

where realities

fall short

but love

life

and beginnings

become

the ultimate

testament

of forever

taking

us away

selling the drama

if you'd take time to listen

to thoughts left unsaid

jumble up the words

bounce up and down your bed

try to shout your lungs out

hear your mind scream

liberate that being

you only once dreamed

if only you'd see through the joker

and see his tears in the rain

you'd know behind that smile

there is a tinkling of pain

like a facade cleverly placed

a smile really masked

by that jeer and that laugh

you'd see through if you ask

if you know you're free enough

to soar up and fly

you'd shed those inhibitions

without asking why

you'd love like you've never been hurt

and see the rainbow behind the storm

you'd hold him close for now

and conquer society's rules and norms

if you'd feel your heart deep

and let it engulf you down

to that abyss where one

is neither beauty nor clown

you'd buy my thoughts for a sixpence or two

as i sell my own piece of drama

not just for me but for you...

halfway

meet me halfway

towards where

the end is but

a distant speck

and the beginning

is but a past

long finished

only to

grasp that

halfways

are meer

illusions of past

and future

hopes and

dreams

we hope to grasp

in our feeble minds

halfway

written by j.l.alarcon august 3, 2003

like fresh air
breathed in
to sustain life
you made me complete
in more ways
have i been whole
time ticks
limited
until my last
intake
of air
i breathe
only
you
my life
until our paths
cross
probably somewhere
where
all that's left
is air
love
forever
i'll be
by your side
my heart
you did
take
it's yours
forever
to hold
to have
to break

who i want to meet...

fill me in
with details
on how life
and love
intertwine
combine
mix
then disappear
like sudden
inhibitions
and thoughts
of both
you and me
that we could not
comprehend
nor understand

fill me in
with how
i should live
my life
on the streets
on to work
rushing everyday
like ants
working
but without
purpose
direction
only yearning
to earn
my own space
to live
survive
only to eat
my own space
and be left
empty

fill me in
with what you think
of me
of you
of dreams
of beauty
of loss
of pain
we all feel

fill me in
and let me hear
your thoughts
mangled
deep down
inside
that brain
allow me to grasp
that you
and me
are alike
in more ways
than one

fill me in
that i may not
feel alone
that i may
feel
more
than what i am
and that you
may be
more than
what
you could be

fill me in
with the
real
you
that i
too
may be
filled

the meantime girl

Nothing about here was beautiful
she did not catch your eye
She was just someone who listened
When someone said goodbye
She was there to cheer you up
make you smile, when you're blue
She did not make your heart melt
You did not see through
She loved you more than a friend
But to you she was just like that
The ordinary girl who was not so thin
Nor was she too fat
Then a day came when she thought,
she saw a glimmer of hope
she thought there was a chance
You no longer mope
You smiled coming her way
A radiance that was shown
And you told her about a girl
A girl you had just known
Told her the girl's face
Was like that of an angel
Truly heaven sent
God's gift to mankind
he beauty he lent
She held back the tears
As you talked still
Realized you wouldn't see through
Perhaps you never will
She was just an ordinary girl
Just an adivser, just a friend
It's your loss if you don't realize
She won't be there till the end

Bridges of Madison Country

a note posted on wood
saying dinner is at six
she's waiting

a camera on one old pick up
named Harry
a covered bridge shot
sunset mixed with light
orange
red
white
anticipation

dust left on gravel
dinner on the table
a pink dress cut up to the hem
slow tango played
by an accordion
as she danced
he danced
beside yellow formica tables
and candlelight

the feel
of skin on skin
as they danced
hands on her hips
hers on his shoulders

then the tango ended
as the leopard
made her feel
caressed
loved
treasured
more
than what she
had felt
after years
monotonous
marriage

a phone rang
he's coming back
her spouse

then the tango ended
the leopard left
only
footprints
a Nikon camera
pictures
and memories
on a walnut box
as what started from a note
could never be
ever shared

but still the pictures
the memories
the bridges
were in her mind

like the
covered bridges
of madison county
like the medallion
etched with her name
that he wore
like the ashes
that were scattered
over the wind
hers
and his...

at last they were
together
with the only
thing
she had
left

INK

I struggled to write words that make sense
As if seeing them make sense
Could actually lessen this emptiness
That vague recollection
of what I had been
and what I should be

My pen scribbles up and down
A rollercoaster on a 0.4 tip
blank ink oozing
But do I know who I am?
Why I write? Why I speak?
No.

Yes.
I read their works.
Those with the fancy wordings and intricate plots
Those who tell about life
the truth
and the fairy dust.
Those with certificates and medals
proclaiming them best.

Best.
They say they did not plan it to be
Their offices were either chrome or steel
or just plain
birds chirping
leaves dancing
to the tune of the wind.
But they wrote. They had thoughts.
Inscribed by ink on paper.
Like me.
Now,
they just happened to be lucky.

Luck.
Once in a while, I think it has gone off far.
Traversing its own way
to leave me alone
gaping dumb
my sorry ass
hoping for it to land
on my palms
like the butterfly with the blue wings
early this morning.

Morning.
My clock says its way past one.
I hear its tick-tock.
A monotonous rhythm.
A reminder that I should close my lids to snuggle
Beneath flowery blankets with edges
mistaken for cheese
by mice.

Mice.
They scurried around my room.
Noses sniffing scents of likely and unlikely aroma
like my feet
after a day's work.
Geniuses with brains the size of my fingernail
outwitting the human ingenuity
of metal and wood
known as traps.

Traps.
Lay in every corner of the mass
of gray and white
matter, science called
a brain.
But words elude them
like mice
munching on my blankets
outwitting my traps
so like my thoughts
and words
that make no sense.

Sense.
I feel less empty now...thoughts start to empty out now
Up
Down
Up
Down
A rollercoaster on a 0.4 tip
Blank ink oozing
oozing
until ink
ran
dry