Tuesday, December 28, 2010

the stock market experience

I suck big time at Mathematics.

Seeing numbers was just like remembering that 78 grade I got from Algebra way back in high school. But after reading a few finance books and realizing that if I want to get a go at being a financially literate person, I would have to love numbers, or else, its good bye to my bank account and everything with it.

We attended a short seminar at a brokerage company called Citiseconline around 3 weeks ago. The trainer, the vice president of Citisec told us very clearly that day trading is a lot of risk. Bo Sanchez a famous preacher here in the Philippines also said to just leave the trading to the traders. But then again, since there's much a much bigger return at the riskier investment, we decided to give it a try.




The first stock we invested at was Petron. Good thing, there was a lot of hoopla regarding it being acquired by San Miguel. Thus, we decided to give it a try and buy stocks worth 20,000 for 14.70/share from Petron. For three days, we owned a part of Petron, and just when we felt it was right to do so, we parted with it at 16.20/share. I recall seeing the stock price go up. We would have made much more, but seeing that we made around 2000 bucks in just 2 days, it was a good investment, or probably as old people would usually say, just beginner's luck.

A week after, we computed possible earnings and decided to put our money at a company called Abacus. It showed potential with a yearly return of profit at 500 million. The stocks first traded at 0.85, we bought it at 0.90 per share. We made a mistake though, we forgot to check the holidays, and since the 24th and the 27th were both public holidays, our money stayed stagnant for 4 days. Awhile ago, the ticker screen (the screen that displays stock prices) was open once again. The 0.90 stock increased to 0.94 in just 10 minutes, then as quickly as it went up, the stock plummeted down to 0.86 before I could even press the "sell button". I was looking at the red on the screen and the numbers showing we lost 800 pesos already.




I was still keeping my fingers crossed, but I was looking glum. It was probably just beginner's luck. And just when I was about to text my fiancee to tell him we lost 800, the stocks changed from red to green. The 0.90 stock became 0.91 and closed at that price. Phew! That was one close call! I checked our portfolio and it showed we earned almost 200 pesos. Some would say it is too low, for me, I was just thankful we did not loose any money.

Now, after boring you with the long experience on trading at stocks, I realized some things. Hopefully, it would help some beginning day traders to know when to quit and when to keep on holding. (note: these were only based on what I observed)

1. When there's some news regarding a company and its good, people go into a buying frenzy. Watch that stock from the opening to the closing and observe if what I am saying is right. If people go into a buying frenzy, the stocks increase like crazy too. And so does your money, if you put it at that stock.

2. Know when to pull out - people loose thousands of pesos and even millions at the stock market because they get too greedy. Like me awhile ago, I was thinking the stock prices of Abacus would go up to 1 pesos per share.

3. In relation to number 1, if there is no news about the company after the buying frenzy, sell your stock fast (especially if the company is not listed at the top 30) it's better to have gained some, than too loose everything.

Oh and last but not the least, trading in stocks is like trading in real life. You may be in the red sometimes (like what happened to the people at Manila whose houses got burned by a fire last 24th) but everything is just temporary unless you want it to be. Companies change to green when they gain profit or are posting strong returns, so is life. You can only win, if you believe you can and if you try to evaluate yourself. Then you improve on your weak points and get on with life.

Awhile ago, I felt really bad seeing the red ticker screen on my Abacus stocks, but then I realized that everything is just temporary. Change comes more often. Sometimes things do not always turn out as planned but in the end, it's your next actions after the changes that matter most.

But tomorrow, I'd say goodbye to Abacus. And I do hope, it would be one good decision. Fingers crossed, ticker screen hopefully greener, the numbers much better.






And that's coming from someone who hates Mathematics. lol

Monday, December 27, 2010

Of Getting Thin and Diets

I was born 6 pounds but 26 years later now weigh 63 kilos.


Like majority of women in the world who are more happy loosing weight than gaining money (no pun intended), I am one of those who look at the mirror and see the flabby thighs and the muffin top oozing out of my hips.

A Kid's Dilemma

Since I was young, I had this hate and love relationship with food.

When I was five and forced to do those little beauty pageants parents love entering their kids into, I was asked just one question during the final round, "What is your favorite food?" . I looked around and saw the audience smiling, thought it was best to answer what I know and answered with confidence "anything as long as it is edible". Then the audience burst into laughter and I cried on stage thinking I got it all wrong.

3 years later at school, I saw a fat kid with a double chin. Upon going home, I barely touched my food and told my mom the food on the table would make me loose my neck. It was then and there that I promised to strain my neck every morning and check it daily on the mirror just in case the food I ate made it disappear...phew!

Teenage Angst
During adolescence, the fat disappeared and some curves began to show. But still, my legs were not shapely like everybody else's and I had a waistline of 27cm. At that time, the only ideal waistline was a 23 or a 24. Bigger than that, you're a walking flabby girl.

Now 26 years later, after countless diets of varied types, I have outlined which have worked for me and which didn't. Some were easy to stick to, some were a little bit more daunting.

1. The Oatmeal Diet
date tested: Feb 2005 in preparation for a College Ball
reason: needed to fit into that dress
plan: 1 week of nothing but oatmeal and brown bread with tuna.
result: lost 2 cm off my waist
sustainability: only good for instant and short term weight loss
and might lead to vitamin or nutrient deficiency if continued



2. The Muffin Top Diet
date tested: September 2010
reason: get rid of the muffin top and save on medication for allergies
plan: not to eat anything that can be a potential allergen for 1 week
result: 1 cm off my waist, 2kg off the scales
sustainability: unless you can thrive on water then do this
didn't help much with my chronic hives either (now I developed new allergies on new food I wasn't allergic to before)

3. The Water Therapy Diet
date tested: January 2008
reason: loose weight and pass my urinalysis exam
plan: not to eat anything with MSG or preservatives, drink up on the coconut water and plain water
result: white urine, a passed urinalysis exam, and some dark circles underneath my eyes, 2kg in one week, 2cm off the waist
sustainability: just good for medical check-ups...hehe

4. The Vegan Diet
date tested: May 2005
reason: detox, cleansing, loose weight
plan: no meat, dairy or seafood for 1 month , big heavy breakfast, fiber packed lunch, no dinner
result: frequent bathroom trips, lesser pimple breakouts, pinkish glow on the cheeks, 4cm off the waist, 5kg in one month
sustainability: high budget (imagine oil has to be olive oil and not plain vegetable oil) , everything has to be organic, can lead
to late night sneaking on the fridge for something to eat

5. The Pink Pill Diet / Hokkaido Diet
date tested: December 2010 to present
reason: loose out the weight I gained after going to Dubai
plan: 2 tablets before breakfast daily
result: less puffier face in 1 week, lost some fat in the abdomen and leg areas, still under observation
sustainability: depends on the result after finishing one bottle
fears: side-effects?

6. The Badminton Work-out
date tested: August 2010
reason: loose weight
plan: 2-3h badminton every night
result: 2kg in 3 days with controlled diet and lots of water
sustainability: due to muscle strain and my face drying out at the Dubai humidity, I kept at it for only a week
note: felt good afterwards but you wake up to pain on your arms or legs if you do not have a proper work-out.

7. The French Diet
date tested: July 2007
reason: loose weight but still eat what I want
plan: eat smaller portions, smell and savor the food before swallowing it
result: 3kg in 2 weeks
sustainability: good but can be destroyed once you go out with friends or family
note: without exercise, I lost weight and did not feel guilty even though I nibbled on my favorites every now and then

That may not be much of a diet list but I do hope I have altered your perceptions on things. There are quick fixes, like what I am doing right now. But you can also choose those which your lifestyle would complement. In the end, it would come back to why you want to loose weight. Me, it makes me feel good. I am not hoping to be like those Victoria Secret Models or those ramping it up on the runway, I just want to feel healthy and good about myself.

If I achieve my ideal weight and stick to it, I feel light and I feel less sickly.
It's not just about fearing I'd loose my neck. It's now more of me wanting to live longer and take control.



Now, can we eat a slice of cake? (wink)

My Cheapest Hives Cure Ever



It has been two years since the elevated itchy red bumps on my skin first came out.

At first glance, I thought it was some sort of insect bite from bed bugs or mosquitoes. Being a self confessed hypochondriac, I searched the web for immediate cures and creams to the so-calle insect bite. I applied Caladryl and even hydrocortisone. The bumps then became less protruding, but after eating meals, it came back out again. This time on other parts of my body even on my face and lips.

That was when I realized I had some sort of allergy which was probably triggered by my vacation to Pampanga. Either it was the dust, the stress, the "laing" (taro leaves with coconut milk) or just the weather. But then nonetheless, I was completely clueless as to how it started.

I then was diagnosed with having chronic hives. And I was having reactions to not just one but multiple food items. I could not and was not allowed to eat poultry, eggs, dairy, cheese, seafood, pork, anything with too much artificial preservatives, canned food items, dried fish, pineapples, mangoes, eggplants, okras, and even some spices.

With my hives being chronic, it meant I had it for life. I got frustrated, stressed, and at the same time, wondered if the Good Lord wanted me to go on a forced diet. But since the food items listed on my "not to eat" list was alot, I refused to follow it. And so the bumps came and became ugly elevated wheals.

I told myself, that's what medicines are for right? For me to still eat what i want to eat.

But before going the easy way with meds, I tried natural methods. I went on a strict 1 week detox diet which consisted of a detox formula my nutritionist aunt made, half a cup of Virgin Coconut oil, and no white rice, no meat stuff. Everything was organic, had fiber or was meant for me to go to the toilet every 2 hours. After flushing everything out, I felt good and the bumps went away, but then each time I ate, the bumps still returned. It was then that I found out I was allergic to seaweed, oats, and even whole grain too. Phew!

Since detox didn't work. There was only one option left and that was steroids to control the inflammation.

I had been drinking Celestamine, Betamethasone, and even Dextramethasone for the allergies. Every time the red bumps showed, the drugs forced my immune system to go back to normal. But it only controlled the external manifestation of the hives. Deep down, my immune system was still making unexpected reactions to food thinking it is there to harm my body.
After two years of consuming steroids, and after noticing that I am beginning to slouch like an old lady and tend to accumulate fat fast I decided to search for other cures.

I tried a chinese cream which worked at first but only lasted for an hour. The hives then showed on other body parts, and it was like playing chase the hives or something that I soon got frustrated and decided to look for other means.

After 4 hours of searching the net and realizing that hives is sometimes triggered by stress, I thought to myself, if I could control the stress it would probably go away.

Then came the options, either I go get a massage or try a cup of tea.

I preferred the cheaper way, A cup of green tea every morning at breakfast. At first, the bumps became less elevated, then it slowly disappeared. And voila, the hives did not and have not been coming out for two weeks now. I ate eggs and even chicken and still no red bumps.




So there, my cheapest hives cure ever. I am not sure how this works, or why it worked for me, but I surely did save myself from side-effects and a slouched back.

Till here then, the cup of tea at the counter is running cold. I do hope this works for other people too. :) And if it does for you too, please let me know. :) Oh and before I forget, only green tea works for me. The other kinds have no effect.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

a poem called flu

holding back a sniffle or two
believing there is
a cure for you

i wipe my nose dry
only to see
you have come
back
again for me

i tried to calm myself
to breathe in
breathe out
i try to relax
left no room
for doubt
that you'd soon go away
you'd soon let me be
you'd leave me to sleep
peacefully and free

but then you stayed
like an incessant prick
i am feeling worst
i am feeling sick

and so am left with no choice
but to
sneeze you out
bad virus called
flu

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

things will go my way

chasing dreams
like kites
floating
in the air
only to be
falling down
again
with a gust
of wind
strong enough
to pull
me down
yet never
strong enough
to stop
me
from trying
to soar
high
yet again

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Falling in Love (from Kent Nurburn)

Falling In Love

It is a mystery why we fall in love.

It is a mystery how it happens.
It is a mystery when it comes.
It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do
anymore than take the life out of the experience.

Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in
the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities
that two people share.

And just as life is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love
must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full
flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the
dream we all share.

More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move
on.

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to
them, refusing to see that it is gift that is freely given and a gift that just as freely, moves
away.

When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try
desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was,
then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them
that makes the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change,
thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again.

They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life
together, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what happened. But there is no meaning beyond the
love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and to accept it.
You need to treat what it brings you with kindness.

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's
heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her, feel honoured that love
came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take
advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all
our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to
leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a
meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it
for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then
reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor
in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. This is where many lovers go
wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see
their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as
something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to
seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead
becomes someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away..

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its
own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into
staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But
if it choose to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you
can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

If you keep your heart open, it will come again.

Kent Nerburn
from the book "Letters To My Son"

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

looking back

You looked back. Realized that time is but fleeting and there are memories much better left unattended than thought about. But still the memories came. Like ghosts haunting you each time, you manage to remember, and you can't help but look back.

The leaves drifted lazily with the breeze. Your hair was a mess and there he was, standing still as if he owned the world and you were but a mirage. You knew you'd regret looking back the moment you did. He looked at your eyes and you knew somehow, there'd be this third chance waiting to happen. Forget about the last time he broke your heart, you'd erase it as if it were chalk on blackboard. You and he would start all over again. Somehow you'd manage to patch the pieces he broke. You keep telling yourself that and somehow you're believing to believe it's possible.

You started taking that step back. He smiled. You smiled. Then you both held hands and knew that everything was forgotten at that instant when your hands connected with his. He'd not do that again right?

Somehow, you convince yourself he learned his lesson.

You never learned yours.

You're wiping your tears, but still they kept falling. You looked for him and he was not around anymore. Dumb. You keep telling yourself you're like that. You should have never taken that step back. You were his perfect girl and whatever he could not manage to do with you, there'd always be another who would be more than willing. His other hand would be holding yours and the other a phone number he got from some club he went to the night before.

He called you again. You heard his voice. You wiped your tears, gathered what is left of your pride and kept walking. You wanted to look back. You wanted to see him stand there and see what he has lost.

But a hand clasped yours.

Not his.

It was about time you take that step forward. And as you took the hand that clasped yours, you knew there were no more fourth chances...it was hard not to look back...but somehow you've found someone who would get you through...

And he would never make you cry...

nor look back.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

24 things i learned at 24

  1. Your best look could be that out of bed bum look when you wake up every morning.
  2. When you’ve finally convinced yourself you’ve grown up, you realize you’re still a kid at heart
  3. You have more friends but less real ones
  4. The career is good but you can’t also wait to get away sometimes.
  5. You sometimes make the rules as you go along (and oh, break some too)
  6. You begin thinking about that bulge that was non-existent when you were seventeen…and wonder, how did it ever get to be like that anyway?
  7. Coffee in paper cups seems very much a must
  8. You have all the world to choose from, but some bills somehow get in the way
  9. You actually learn how to put on good make up, strut your stuff in high heels, and dress like you’re a million bucks.
  10. You are starting to get this mild case of alzheimers and start forgetting how to spell simple words
  11. You realize that cafeteria food is floating on fat and though that posh resto costs too much, its better to splurge cash on something less greasy for awhile
  12. Dark chocolate tastes much better than the sweet milk bars.
  13. There’s no harm in flaunting what you were given
  14. You could get into other people’s nerves even if you did not do anything
  15. You try pleasing everyone and you get that pile of paper work on your desk because you could never say no
  16. Somehow you’re more sure of where you are going but could never seem to figure out how to get there
  17. Your wardrobe needs some new additions almost every other month
  18. Spas are good places to relax to, only if you don’t have a sadistic masseause to contend with
  19. You drink to all that you have lost and toast it up to it not being worth your time anyway
  20. You see less of the sun on your way home
  21. You’re done pretending to be someone you are not
  22. The night news is bound to make you feel bad (shouldn’t they add good news too?)
  23. You never did know how to cook the way your mom did.
  24. And lastly that you never are ever too old enough to be stop learning…you’re still stuck with ABCs in the form of management problems…and your crayons when you get real fed up.























Wednesday, September 10, 2008

reasons

you write things down

because

writing

is much easier

than actually saying

things

you act things out

because you

know people

would understand more

of what you want

them to

understand

and feel

you feel things much

because

you know

that in feeling

something

you're convincing

yourself you're human

and

alive

you reach for your dreams

because

you know

that though

stars are hard to

reach

they sometimes

fall too

you love though it hurts

because you

know

you only

live once

and its better

to have loved

than never to

have loved at

all

you dance to no music

and smile to yourself

because you

know

there's more to life

than pain

there's those

moments

that would make

your heart

flutter too

you go to work

everyday

because even though

you won't admit it

there's more to it

than just the paycheck

there's people you care

about

people you could not imagine leaving

people who have

somehow

now been a part of

you

of me

you read my words

despite the fact

that you think

this makes no

sense

that it goes

on

and

on

but though long

you could

relate

so you

read

this phrases

of one or two

and you

smiled

you thought

things over

because like

me

you're

thinking

you're dreaming

you know

you feel

you love

you dream

you hope

you

are

alive

Friday, July 25, 2008

take me away

take me away

to where dreams

are but realities

and goals

are but achieved

take me away

to where the end

meets the beginning

and life collides

only to end up

being one

take me away

into a land

where change

is but inevitable

but leads to

something better

take me away

to where i could

forget the past

and indulge

in the promises

of tomorrow

yet to come

take me away

to where you and me

are but reasons

to exist

side by side

take me away

to where its just

us both

only for a day

where reasons

end

where dreams

begin

where realities

fall short

but love

life

and beginnings

become

the ultimate

testament

of forever

taking

us away

Monday, July 21, 2008

selling the drama

if you'd take time to listen

to thoughts left unsaid

jumble up the words

bounce up and down your bed

try to shout your lungs out

hear your mind scream

liberate that being

you only once dreamed

if only you'd see through the joker

and see his tears in the rain

you'd know behind that smile

there is a tinkling of pain

like a facade cleverly placed

a smile really masked

by that jeer and that laugh

you'd see through if you ask

if you know you're free enough

to soar up and fly

you'd shed those inhibitions

without asking why

you'd love like you've never been hurt

and see the rainbow behind the storm

you'd hold him close for now

and conquer society's rules and norms

if you'd feel your heart deep

and let it engulf you down

to that abyss where one

is neither beauty nor clown

you'd buy my thoughts for a sixpence or two

as i sell my own piece of drama

not just for me but for you...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

halfway

meet me halfway

towards where

the end is but

a distant speck

and the beginning

is but a past

long finished

only to

grasp that

halfways

are meer

illusions of past

and future

hopes and

dreams

we hope to grasp

in our feeble minds

halfway

Friday, June 13, 2008

written by j.l.alarcon august 3, 2003

like fresh air
breathed in
to sustain life
you made me complete
in more ways
have i been whole
time ticks
limited
until my last
intake
of air
i breathe
only
you
my life
until our paths
cross
probably somewhere
where
all that's left
is air
love
forever
i'll be
by your side
my heart
you did
take
it's yours
forever
to hold
to have
to break

who i want to meet...

fill me in
with details
on how life
and love
intertwine
combine
mix
then disappear
like sudden
inhibitions
and thoughts
of both
you and me
that we could not
comprehend
nor understand

fill me in
with how
i should live
my life
on the streets
on to work
rushing everyday
like ants
working
but without
purpose
direction
only yearning
to earn
my own space
to live
survive
only to eat
my own space
and be left
empty

fill me in
with what you think
of me
of you
of dreams
of beauty
of loss
of pain
we all feel

fill me in
and let me hear
your thoughts
mangled
deep down
inside
that brain
allow me to grasp
that you
and me
are alike
in more ways
than one

fill me in
that i may not
feel alone
that i may
feel
more
than what i am
and that you
may be
more than
what
you could be

fill me in
with the
real
you
that i
too
may be
filled

Thursday, June 12, 2008

the meantime girl

Nothing about here was beautiful
she did not catch your eye
She was just someone who listened
When someone said goodbye
She was there to cheer you up
make you smile, when you're blue
She did not make your heart melt
You did not see through
She loved you more than a friend
But to you she was just like that
The ordinary girl who was not so thin
Nor was she too fat
Then a day came when she thought,
she saw a glimmer of hope
she thought there was a chance
You no longer mope
You smiled coming her way
A radiance that was shown
And you told her about a girl
A girl you had just known
Told her the girl's face
Was like that of an angel
Truly heaven sent
God's gift to mankind
he beauty he lent
She held back the tears
As you talked still
Realized you wouldn't see through
Perhaps you never will
She was just an ordinary girl
Just an adivser, just a friend
It's your loss if you don't realize
She won't be there till the end

Scribo ergo sum

Scribo ergo sum. I write therefore I am.
Some people write to gain acceptance.
I write because I believe that there is a power in writing that could influence and change.
That though my writing may diverge on a road different from what others tread, they could make the reader think. Basically about himself, and the life he is leading.
I write not to make you believe, but for people to give themselves a chance into life itself.
I may sound entirely superficial.
I may sound different from others that have come before me. But I believe that only those who dare to be different make all the difference in the world.
I can insignate change.
Therefore I write.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The God Memorandum

To You From God;

Take counsel. I hear your cry. It passes through the darkness, filters through the clouds, mingles with starlight, and finds its way to my heart on the path of a sunbeam.
I have anguished over the cry of a hare choked in the noose of a snare, a sparrow tumbled from the nest of its mother, a child thrashing helplessly in a pond, and a son shedding his blood on a cross.
Know that I hear you, also. Be at peace. Be calm. I bring thee relief for your sorrow for I know its cause...and its cure.
You weep for all your childhood dreams that have vanished with the years. You weep for all your self-esteem that has been corrupted by failure. You weep for all your potential that has been bartered for security. You weep for all your individuality that has been trampled by mobs. You weep for all your talent that has been wasted through misuse.
You look upon yourself with disgrace and you turn in terror from the image you see in the pool. Who is this mockery of humanity staring back at you with bloodless eyes of shame? Where is the grace of your manner, the beauty of your figure, the quickness of your movement, the clarity of your mind, the brilliance of your tongue? Who stole your goods. Is the thief's identity known to you, as it is to me?
Once you placed your head in a pillow of grass in your father's field and looked up at a cathedral of clouds and knew that all the gold of Babylon would be yours in time. Once you read from many books and wrote on many tablets, convinced beyond any doubt that all the wisdom of Solomon would be equaled and surpassed by you. And the seasons would flow into years until lo, you would reign supreme in your own garden of Eden.
Dost thou remember who implanted those plans and dreams and seeds of hope within you? You cannot. You have no memory of that moment when first you emerged from your mother's womb and I placed my hand on your soft brow. And the secret I whispered in your small ear when I bestowed my blessings upon you?
Remember our secret? You cannot. The passing years have destroyed your recollection, for they have filled your mind with fear and doubt and anxiety and remorse and hate and there is no room for joyful memories where these beasts habitate.
Weep no more, I am with you...and this moment is the dividing line of your life. All that has gone before is like unto no more than that time you slept within your mother's womb. What is past is dead. Let the dead bury the dead.
This day you return from the living dead. This day, like unto Elijah with the widow's son, I stretch myself upon thee three times and you live again. This day, like unto Elisha with the Shunammite's son, I put my mouth upon your mouth and my eyes upon your eyes and my hands upon your hands and your flesh is warm again. This day, like unto Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus, I command you to come forth and you will walk from your cave of doom to begin a new life.
This is your birthday. This is your new date of birth. Your first life, like unto a play of the theatre, was only a rehearsal. This time the curtain is up. This time the world watches and waits to applaud. This time you will not fail.
Light your candles. Share your cake. Pour the wine. You have been reborn. Like a butterfly from its chrysalis you will fly...fly as high as you wish, and neither the wasps nor dragonflies nor mantids of mankind shall obstruct your mission or your search for the true riches of life.
Feel my hand upon thy head. Attend to my wisdom. Let me share with you, again, the secret you heard at your birth and forgot.
You are my greatest miracle.
You are the greatest miracle in the world.
Those were the first words you ever heard. Then you cried. They all cry.
You did not believe me then...and nothing has happened in the intervening years to correct your disbelief. For how could you be a miracle when you consider yourself a failure at the most menial of tasks? How can you be a miracle when you have little confidence in dealing with the most trivial of responsibilities? How can you be a miracle when you are shackled by debt and lie awake in torment over whence will come tomorrow's bread?
Enough. The milk that is spilled is sour. Yet, how many prophets, how many wise men, how many poets, how many artists, how many composers, how many scientists, how many philosophers and messengers have I sent with the word of your divinity, your potential for godliness, and the secrets of achievement? How did you treat them?
Still I love you and I am with you now, through these words, to fulfill the prophet who announced that the Lord shall set his hand again, the second time, to recover the remnant of his people. I have set my hand again. This is the second time. You are my remnant.
It is of no avail to ask, haven't you known, haven't you heard, hasn't it been told to you from the beginning; haven't you understood from the foundations of the earth? You have not known; you have not heard; you have not understood.
You have been told that you are a divinity is disguise, a god playing fool. You have been told that you are a special piece of work, noble in reason, infinite in faculties, express and admirable in form and moving, like an angel in action, like a god in apprehension. You have been told that you are the salt of the earth. You were given the secret even of moving mountains, of performing the impossible.
You believed no one. You burned your map to happiness, you abandoned your claim to peace of mind, you snuffed out the candles that had been placed along your destined path of glory, and then you stumbled, lost and frightened, in the darkness of futility and self-pity, until you fell into a hell of your own creation.
Then you cried and beat your breast and cursed the luck that had befallen you. You refused to accept the consequences of your own petty thoughts and lazy deeds and you searched for a scapegoat on which to blame your failure. How quickly you found one.
You blamed me! You cried that your handicaps, your mediocrity, your lack of opportunity, your failures...were the will of God!
You were wrong! Let us take inventory. Let us, first, call a roll of your handicaps. For how can I ask you to build a new life lest you have the tools?
Are you blind? Does the sun rise and fall without your witness? No. You can see...and the hundred million receptors I have placed in your eyes enable you to enjoy the magic of a leaf, a snowflake, a pond, an eagle, a child, a cloud, a star, a rose, a rainbow... and the look of love. Count one blessing.
Are you deaf? Can a baby laugh or cry without your attention? No. You can hear...and the twenty-four thousand fibers I have built in each of your ears vibrate to the wind in the trees, the tides on the rocks, the majesty of an opera, a robin's plea, children at play...and the words "I love you." Count another blessing.
Are you mute? Do your lips move and bring forth only spittle? No. You can speak...as can no other of my creatures, and your words can calm the angry, uplift the despondent, goad the quitter, cheer the unhappy, warm the lonely, praise the worthy, encourage the defeated, teach the ignorant...and say I love you. Count another blessing.
Are you paralyzed? Does your helpless form despoil the land? No. You can move. You are not a tree condemned to a small plot while the wind and world abuse you. You can stretch and run and dance and work, for within you I have designed five hundred muscles, two hundred bones, and seven miles of nerve fibre all synchronized by me to do your bidding. Count another blessing.
Are you unloved and unloving? Does loneliness engulf you, night and day? No. No more. For now you know love's secret, that to receive love it must be given with no thought of its return. To love for fulfillment, satisfaction, or pride, is no love. Love is a gift on which no return is demanded. Now you know that to love unselfishly is its own reward. And even should love not be returned it is not lost, for love not reciprocated will flow back to you and soften and purify your heart. Count another blessing. Count twice.
Is your heart stricken? Does it leak and strain to maintain your life? No. Your heart is strong. Touch your chest and feel its rhythm, pulsating, hour after hour, day and night, thirty-six million beats each year, year after year, asleep or awake, pumping your blood through more than sixty thousand miles of veins, arteries, and tubing...pumping more than six hundred thousand gallons each year. Man has never created such a machine. Count another blessing.
Are you diseased of skin? Do people turn in horror when you approach? No. Your skin is clear and a marvel of creation, needing only that you tend it with soap and oil and brush and care. In time all steels will tarnish and rust, but not your skin. Eventually the strongest of metals will wear, with use, but not that layer that I have constructed around you. Constantly it renews itself, old cells replaced by new, just as the old you is now being replaced by the new. Count another blessing.
Are your lungs befouled? Does the breath of life struggle to enter your body? No. Your portholes to life support you even in the vilest of environments of your own making, and they labor always to filter life-giving oxygen through six hundred million pockets of folded flesh while they rid your body of gaseous wastes. Count another blessing.
Is your blood poisoned? Is it diluted with water and pus? No. Within your five quarts of blood are twenty-two trillion blood cells and within each cell are millions of molecules and within each molecule is an atom oscillating at more than ten million times each second. Each second, two million of your blood cells die to be replaced by two million more in a resurrection that has continued since your first birth. As it has always been inside, so now it is on your outside. Count another blessing.
Are you feeble of mind? Can you no longer think for yourself? No. Your brain is the most complex structure in the universe. I know. Within its three pounds are fifteen billion nerve cells, more than three times as many cells as there are people on your earth. To help you file away every perception, every sound, every taste, every smell, every action you have experienced since the day of your birth, I have implanted within your cells, more than one thousand billion billion protein molecules. Every incident in your life is there waiting only your recall. And, to assist your brain in the control of your body I have dispersed, throughout your form, four million pain-sensitive structures, five hundred thousand touch detectors, and more than two hundred thousand temperature detectors.
No nation's gold is better protected than you. None of your ancient wonders are greater than you. You are my finest creation. Within you is enough atomic energy to destroy any of the world's great cities...and rebuild it.
Are you poor? Is there no gold or silver in your purse? No. You are rich! Together we have just counted your wealth. Study the list. Count them again. Tally your assets! Why have you betrayed yourself? Why have you cried that all the blessings of humanity were removed from you? Why did you deceive yourself that you were powerless to change your life? Are you without talent, senses, abilities, pleasures, instincts, sensations, and pride? Are you without hope? Why do you cringe in the shadows, a giant defeated, awaiting only sympathetic transport into the welcome void and dampness of hell?
You have so much. Your blessings overflow your cup...and you have been unmindful of them, like a child spoiled in luxury, since I have bestowed them upon you with generosity and regularity. Answer me. Answer yourself. What rich man, old and sick, feeble and helpless, would not exchange all the gold in his vault for the blessings you have treated so lightly?
Know then the first secret to happiness and success, you possess, even now, every blessing necessary to achieve great glory. They are your treasure, your tools with which to build, starting today, the foundation for a new and better life.
Therefore, I say unto you, count your blessings and know that you already are my greatest creation. This is the first law you must obey in order to perform the greatest miracle in the world, the return of your humanity from living death.
And be grateful for your lessons learned in poverty. For he is not poor who has little; only he that desires much...and true security lies not in the things one has but in the things one can do without. Where are the handicaps that produced your failure? They existed only in your mind. Count your blessings.
And the second law is like unto the first. Proclaim your rarity. You had condemned yourself to a potter's field, and there you lay, unable to forgive your own failure, destroying yourself with self-hate, self-incrimination, and revulsion at your crimes against yourself and others.
Are you not perplexed? Do you not wonder why I am able to forgive your failures, your transgressions, your pitiful demeanor...when you cannot forgive yourself? I address you now, for three reasons. You need me. You are not one of a herd heading for destruction in a gray mass of mediocrity. And...you are a great rarity.
Consider a painting by Rembrandt or a bronze by Degas or a violin by Stradivarius or a play by Shakespeare. They have great value for two reasons: their creators were masters and they are few in number. Yet there are more than one of each of these. On that reasoning you are the most valuable treasure on the face of the earth, for you know who created you and there is only one of you.
Never, in all the seventy billion humans who have walked this planet since the beginning of time has there been anyone exactly like you. Never, until the end of time, will there be another such as you.
You have shown no knowledge or appreciation of your uniqueness. Yet, you are the rarest thing in the world.
From your father, in his moment of supreme love, flowed countless seeds of love, more than four hundred million in number. All of them, as they swam within your mother, gave up the ghost and died. All except one! You.


"If you believe,
you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
(Jesus Christ - The Holy Bible: Matthew 21:22)


You alone persevered within the loving warmth of your mother's body, searching for your other half, a single cell from your mother so small that more than two million would be necessary to fill an acorn shell. Yet, despite impossible odds, in that vast ocean of darkness and disaster, you persevered, found that infinitesimal cell, joined with it, and began a knew life. Your life.
You arrived, bringing with you, as does every child, the message that I was not yet discouraged of man. Two cells, now united in a miracle. Two cells, each containing twenty-three chromosomes and within each chromosome hundreds of genes, which would govern every characteristic about you, from the color of your eyes to the charm of your manner to the size of your brain.
With all the combinations at my command, beginning with that singe sperm from your father's four hundred million, through the hundreds of genes in each of the chromosomes from your mother and father, I could have created three hundred thousand billion humans, each different from the other.
But who did I bring forth? You! One of a kind. Rarest of the rare. A priceless treasure, possessed of qualities in mind and speech and movement and appearance and actions as no other who has ever lived, lives or shall live. Why have you valued yourself in pennies when you are worth a king's ransom? Why did you listen to those who demeaned you...and far worse, why did you believe them?
Take counsel. No longer hide your rarity in the dark. Bring it forth. Show the world. Strive not to walk as your brother walks, nor talk as your leader talks, nor labor as do the mediocre. Never do as another. Never imitate. For how do you know that you may not imitate evil; and he who imitates evil always goes beyond the example set, while he who imitates what is good always falls short. Imitate no one. Be yourself. Show your rarity to the world and they will shower you with gold. This then is the second law. Proclaim your rarity. And now you have received two laws. Count your blessings! Proclaim your rarity! You have no handicaps. You are not mediocre.
You nod. You force a smile. You admit your self-deception. What of your next complaint? Opportunity never seeks thee!
Take counsel and it shall come to pass, for now I give you the law of success in every venture. Many centuries ago this law was given to your forefathers from a mountain top. Some heeded the law and lo, their life was filled with the fruit of happiness, accomplishment, gold, and peace of mind. Most listened not, for they sought magic means, devious routes, or waited for the devil called luck to deliver to them the riches of life. They waited in vain...just as you waited, and then they wept, as you wept, blaming their lack of fortune on my will.
The law is simple. Young or old, pauper or king, white or black, male or female...all can use the secret to their advantage; for of all the rules and speeches and scriptures of success and how to attain it, only one method has never failed...whomsoever shall compel ye to go with him one mile...go with him two.
This then is the third law...the secret that will produce riches and acclaim beyond your dreams. Go another mile!
The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be. This is a habit followed by all successful people since the beginning of time. Therefore I saith the surest way to doom yourself to mediocrity is to perform only the work for which you are paid.
Think not ye are being cheated if you deliver more than the silver you receive. For there is a pendulum to all life and the sweat you deliver, if not rewarded today, will swing back tomorrow, tenfold. The mediocre never goes another mile, for why should he cheat himself, he thinks. But you are not mediocre. To go another mile is a privilege you must appropriate by your own initiative. You cannot, you must not avoid it. Neglect it, do only as little as the others, and the responsibility for your failure is yours alone.
You can no more render service without receiving just compensation than you can withhold the rendering of it without suffering the loss of reward. Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, these cannot be separated. The effect already blooms in the cause, the end preexists the means, and the fruit is always in the seed.
Go another mile. Concern yourself not, should you serve an ungrateful master. Serve him more. And instead of him, let it be me who is in your debt, for then you will know that every minute, every stroke of extra service will be repaid. And worry not, should your reward not come soon. For the longer payment is withheld, the better for you...and compound interest on compound interest is the law's greatest benefit.
You cannot command success, you can only deserve it...and now you know the great secret necessary in order to merit its rare reward. Go another mile!
Where is this field from whence you cried there was no opportunity? Look! Look around thee. See, where only yesterday you wallowed on the refuse of self-pity, you now walk tall on a carpet of gold. Nothing has changed...except you, but you are everything.
You are my greatest miracle.
You are the greatest miracle in the world.
And now the laws of happiness and success are three. Count your blessings! Proclaim your rarity! Go another mile!
Be patient with your progress. To count your blessings with gratitude, to proclaim your rarity with pride, to go an extra mile and then another, these acts are not accomplished in the blinking of an eye. Yet, that which you acquire with most difficulty you retain the longest; as those who have earned a fortune are more careful of it than those by whom it was inherited.
And fear not as you enter your new life. Every noble acquisition is attended with its risks. He who fears to encounter the one must not expect to obtain the other. Now you know you are a miracle. And there is no fear in a miracle.
Be proud. You are not the momentary whim of a careless creator experimenting in the laboratory of life. You are not a slave of forces that you cannot comprehend. You are a free manifestation of no force but mine, of no love but mine. You were made with a purpose.
Feel my hand. Hear my words. You need me...and I need you. We have a world to rebuild...and if it requireth a miracle what is that to us? We are both miracles and now we have each other.
Never have I lost faith in you since that day when I first spun you from a giant wave and tossed you helplessly on the sands. As you measure time that was more than five hundred million years ago. There were many models, many shapes, many sizes, before I reached perfection in you more than thirty thousand years ago. I have made no further effort to improve on you in all these years.
For how could one improve on a miracle? You were a marvel to behold and I was pleased. I gave you this world and dominion over it. Then, to enable you to reach your full potential I placed my hand on you, once more, and endowed you with powers unknown to any other creature in the universe, even unto this day.
I gave you the power to think. I gave you the power to love.
I gave you the power to will. I gave you the power to laugh.
I gave you the power to imagine. I gave you the power to create.
I gave you the power to plan. I gave you the power to speak.
I gave you the power to pray.
My pride in you knew no bounds. You were my ultimate creation, my greatest miracle. A complete living being. One who can adjust to any climate, any hardship, any challenge. One who can manage his own destiny without interference from me. One who can translate a sensation or perception, not by instinct, but by thought and deliberation into whatever action is best for himself and all humanity.
Thus we come to the fourth law of success and happiness...for I gave you one more power, a power so great that not even my angels possess it. I gave you...the power to choose.
With this gift I placed you even above my angels...for angels are not free to choose sin. I gave you complete control over your destiny. I told you to determine, for yourself, your own nature in accordance with your own free will. Neither heavenly nor earthly in nature, you were free to fashion yourself in whatever form you preferred. You had the power to choose to degenerate into the lowest forms of life, but you also had the power, out of your soul's judgement, to be reborn into the higher forms, which are divine.
I have never withdrawn your great power, the power to choose.
What have you done with this tremendous force? Look at yourself. Think of the choices you have made in your life and recall, now, those bitter moments when you would fall to your knees if only you had the opportunity to choose again.
What is past is past...and now you know the fourth great law of happiness and success...Use wisely, your power of choice.
Choose to love...rather than hate. Choose to laugh...rather than cry.
Choose to create...rather than destroy.
Choose to persevere...rather than quit.
Choose to praise...rather than gossip.
Choose to heal...rather than wound.
Choose to give...rather than steal.
Choose to act...rather than procrastinate.
Choose to grow...rather than rot. Choose to pray...rather than curse.
Choose to live...rather than die.
Now you know that your misfortunes were not my will, for all power was vested in you, and the accumulation of deeds and thoughts which placed you on the refuse of humanity were your doing, not mine. My gifts of power were too large for your small nature. Now you have grown tall and wise and the fruits of the land will be yours.
You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming. You are capable of great wonders. Your potential is unlimited. Who else, among my creatures, has mastered fire? Who else, among my creatures, has conquered gravity, has pierced the heavens, has conquered disease and pestilence and drought?
Never demean yourself again! Never settle for the crumbs of life! Never hide your talents, from this day hence!
Remember the child who says "when I am a big boy." But what is that? For the big boy says, "when I grow up." And then grown up, he says, "when I am wed." But to be wed, what is that, after all? The thought then changes to "when I retire." And then, retirement comes, and he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind sweeps over it and somehow he has missed it all and it is gone.
Enjoy this day, today...and tomorrow, tomorrow. You have performed the greatest miracle in the world. You have returned from a living death. You will feel self-pity no more and each new day will be a challenge and a joy.
You have been born again..but just as before, you can choose failure and despair or success and happiness. The choice is yours. The choice is exclusively yours. I can only watch, as before...in pride...or sorrow.
Remember, then, the four laws of happiness and success. Count your blessings. Proclaim your rarity. Go another mile. Use wisely your power of choice. And one more, to fulfill the other four. Do all things with love...love for yourself, love for all others, and love for me.
Wipe away your tears. Reach out, grasp my hand, and stand straight. Let me cut the grave cloths that have bound you. This day you have been notified.
You are the greatest miracle in the world.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Felicity


I was hooked up on the TV show felicity way back highschool. For one, the song that u are hearing right now is a personal favorite and its from that show. And a Filipina sang it! Proudly Filipina go! But I always loved the show because during that time I could very well relate to it, it pierced deep and probably until now there is still that part of me who could very much understand how felicity felt. Sigh if only love stories always do have happy endings.

Enough of the mush...here are some of my favorite quotes from the show, they're the best if not the most heartwarming...if not the funniest...and they're my top 10

1. The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.
2. That would have been hard. I mean, how do you tell somebody you're trying to steal their boyfriend?
3. I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything. I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us, and that our mission is to never let it.
4. I guess I'm learning, little by little, that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us, but it is our reactions that matter.
5. Domestication is the enemy of romance.
6. Noel: And your hair's not so bad.
Felicity: Liar, you hate it.
7. Ben, everybody has to figure out who they are eventually.
8. I've become a real believer in not defining every single thing. Seems like everytime you think you've figured out what something is, it just becomes something else.
9. Felicity: You know that stuff will kill you.
Noel: Something will. Might as well be cheese spray.
10. Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.

the 90s and the music...sigh...i was so pathetic back then

Back in the 90s, the stars sang songs like this, and rocked our worlds




There were even those who donned songs promoting family planning

take note of the lines..."come a little bit closer baby...get it on...get it on...cause tonight, is the night...when two become one..."



some of my friends even danced to this tune during senior's night in highschool, now all of them are in denial they did it..hehe...



as for us girls, we were forced to don mini skirts and spandex to dance this...
(sigh) she was every girl's idol way back and was every old man's fantasy...hehe...now i really dunno what happened to her...probably she got lost in the lyrics..."and to lose all my senses...that is just so typically me...oops i did it again"


Now, there is less of the weird costumes and hair...and left eye from TLC died in a car accident...



Britney's tabloid material
Lance from NSYNC admitted he's gay

and Beyonce still is rocking on...

so much for the 90s, i wish 2008 would bring about a fit of much memorable divas, personalities, and laughs i could tell my kids later on.