colorblind

sometimes
you stare
deep
and try
to gauge
what's
wrong
and odd
based
on what
you
think
is right

as if
the world
turned
on
your
wheels
like
a hamster
with its
feet
running
running
endlessly

only
to realize
that
its
not the
colors
so
bright
nor the
picture
that is
wrong

but
the
way
you
see
things

Of Swan Lake and Pussycat Dolls

movements
coordinated with
every thump
every pause
like
pit
pat
thump
like
one
two
three
eyes
concentrating
to movements
not understood
arms moving
up and down
head
swaying
side
to side
movements
now
imitated
from
a tube
with colors
a three
year old
who
dreams of
becoming
a ballerina
dancing
to Pussycat dolls

:) For my 3 year old niece Ela,hope you'd see this someday and laugh.

overachiever

photo by s.calvert.dpchallenge.com

a pile of papers
on a messed up desk
a computer screen
flashing
flashing
white
light
a cup of coffee
spilled
some breadcrumbs
littered
a fan
electric
whirring
turning around
but the room
remains
damp
eerie

a certificate
hangs
on the wall
a reminder
of medals
and honors
achieved

a ballpoint pen
ink
oozing
on paper
notes
scribbled
trashed
on a bin
adjacent to
an unmade bed

where a girl
lay
dead
while clutching
a card
with
a grade
just a
point
short
of being
the best

If

photo by malou marquez-www.malousky.multiply.com

If I could count the words and tell
What the mind has failed to see
If I do know my thoughts so well
Why can't they let me be
If a clock's tick could stop for once
I'd fall into my dreams
I'd be a victor in this dance
Of pain and joy it seems
But then as all could not be good
And thorns do prick to bleed
I'd stand up again from where I stood
And love the one I need

poem written for the school paper way back college.

A Story on Appreciation

prelude: this story was sent by a friend. hope it would touch your heart as it touched mine, oh and i do hope you give a call to those people that you need to call to afterwards also, or perhaps just give them a big hug.

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.


He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.


The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements
were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.


The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".



The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it
was my mother who paid for my school fees.



The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My
mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to
show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and
perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"



The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read
more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.



The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean
your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*



The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went
back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His
mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands
to the kid.



The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that.
It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so
wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were
so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.



This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands
that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee.
The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to
pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.



After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.



That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.



Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.



The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"



The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'



The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."



The youth said,

Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be a successful me today.

Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a
person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a
person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.



Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every
employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance
improved tremendously.

.............



A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted,
would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself
first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts
work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he
becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees
and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good
academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not
feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and
fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really
showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano,
watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them
experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls
together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not
have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a
right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents
are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that
young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to
appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the
ability to work with others to get things done.

You would have shared many stories to many and many of them would have back
mailed you too...but try and forward this story to as many as
possible...this may change somebody's fate...

Migraine Remedies...from a nutritionist to a nurse

Ever had that feeling when you just want to bang your head on the wall to just divert the pain a little? Ever felt needles being stuck on your brain? Or has your vision gone nuts and everything is a blur. Me, I felt like there were little people playing bowling on my head. phew!

photo courtesy of geeksontheinside.wordpress.com


It started occurring way back 2001. I'd get this bouts of pain on my head starting from the neck up to the frontal lobe. Like everybody else battling with it, I wanted a cure fast. But since painkillers don't work for me anymore, I decided to look for alternatives.

Here's my list of what worked for me.
It has been a year since my last migraine attack. :) Consider it progress number 1, my progress with hives (see labels on cures) is progress number 2...so read on, tell me what you think, and hope this helps you or someone else you love


1. Choosing Food Wisely

chocolates, though considered to be good brain food have been my number 1 migraine trigger. I still get a bite every now and then, but prefer the dark chocolate ones than the sweet milky bars. Load up on fruits and vegetables, steer clear from msg (monosodium glutamate) and use as little portions of butter as much as possible. In short, eat more food grown from plants not manufactured from plants.

2. Nutritionist advice: garlic, honey, and philippine lemon/ lemon
I got this from my aunt who is a vegetarian and is a nutritionist. Here's the concoction.
-2 cloves raw garlic (finely chopped to small pieces)
-1 tbsp of honey
-1 tsp of lemon juice
mix and drink.

(note: the garlic induces sleep, don't take if you're going to travel or going to work) then rest and get some sleep. wake up happy.:) note: for sore throat and colds, roast the garlic then drizzle honey and lemon juice. for cough: add fresh washed oregano leaves to the concoction.

3. Nurse advice: Grab your hair gently from the ends
My best friend connie used to do this to my head way back college.

It feels good and at the same time calms you down. This massages your scalp and at the same time relaxes your nerve endings. Don't grab your hair too strongly though. :)

4. De-stress
Go away for awhile by yourself and just enjoy nature tripping or going on a vacation.
Drink a cup of green tea
Get a massage.
Laugh more, worry less.

I am not a doctor just a hypochondriac trying to solve my health problems one problem at a time.

If this helps, or if you have anything else to add, feel free to do so, it might help some people too.

note: I am not against manufactured medicines, I'm just a little bit cautious about the side effects... :)

Being Twenty Something (from an email)

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as
you.

You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to
know better.

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!


What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

soaring...

To feel the air brushing against your face
To experience pressure in greater heights
If one would believe then one could soar
Into realms not yet discovered and dreams yet fulfilled
Into that next stage, into that next frontier
It does not take a fairy tale for wishes to come true
Around you, you have what is essential for your flight
You just have to believe that you have wings
And then you can fly...

tears

written: june 2006 at myspace

he said cry your tears
then it would all fade away
he told me you'd soon forget
the way he made you sway
but the emptiness stayed
you wondered when it would be gone
you still cried those tears
though it seems there be none
none to hope
and none to feel
none to hold on
but one big thing to deal
life can be harsh
sometimes its even cruel
but what has bruised you bad
really does sometimes rule
but then in the end
it all comes down to this
he told you those words
and it seems you've missed
what he said behind your tears
what he wants you to see
he'll erase all those fears
if you'll just set your heart free
now its too late to turn back
he's with someone else
and you're alone with what you lacked
and this poem makes no sense
what i'm trying to say
is love before its gone
look behind your back
he may just be the one
for in the end you'd realize
if you wont believe this is true
is that you may have allowed
that one person to slip
yes, that one person for you.

little things (wrote last june 2008 at myspace)

photo by: karen tribett

bleed your tears then let them dry
ask yourself if you've done wrong and why
wallow in self pity, you're entitled to it sometimes
ask why you're not worthy, to possess just that dime
but you dance to life's tune, believe there's still hope
a rainbow behind the storm, one should not stop to mope
about things that have gone wrong
sometimes they really do
what one has to do is to be strong
believe you could really pull through
we all have our bruises , we all have our pains
we all had experienced glory, we all had gains
but if you look back you'd realize you had been happy before
you had little, you had less, but you had much more
no amount of wealth, nor success could replace real friends
those who would stick with you, through pain in the end
happiness is but fickle for those who aspire too much
realize your worth and you'll realize it does not mean such
life could be a pain, usually it even bleeds deep
but it also wakes you up to the things that you should keep
those that you hold dear, those that matter the most
those which make you smile, some you may think as ghosts
ghosts which you could really reach
if you'd open your eyes, if you'd seek
these little things that will always be real
these little things, they will always be true
despite the world's trials
these little things will stick
by you.


(written: june8, 2008: myspace blog)

on the road through baclaran

A child squatting on the pavement peeing on the side of the street.
A family sleeping on the grass beside uncollected garbage bags with flies circling around.
A few young men playing cards and betting some coins.
A mother washing clothes beside a urinal.
A man peddling yellow corn on a pushcart wiped his hands on some dirty rags then went back again to arranging his wares
A hawker selling some pirated cds and dvds for 50 pesos.
And every now and then an occasional lovers spat where the male drags the female by the hair amidst too much screaming and pedestrians looking by.

I have always wondered what happened to:
the government with all its promises of helping the poor
the church which is a few meters beside it
the society which passes by these scenes every day without doing anything (or i am just not aware of it)

I have also wondered why:
these people have moved to manila in the first place
these people choose to live along the streets
these people were not relocated
I seem to be the only one noticing

or has everybody noticed it too and includes it in:
the candles that are lighted every day
the novenas that are said every wednesday
the votes they pass next election

i am hoping that:
this scene would change soon
this scene would improve
this scene would make


you

act
open your eyes
realize
pray

that
this country
with people
so blessed
despite
everything

should
also
see the small
stuff
and
act

love

Love-an intense feeling of deep affection with 125,000,000 people searching for it or its related term every month at google. If you look at google images for pictures of it, there's 1,580,000,000 images for it.

Surprised?
I don't think so.

Look at what's currently trending at yahoo and you'd find love poems as one of them (that is as of 3:57am this morning).

Everybody it seems is looking for it, is wanting to define it, is wanting to put it in words, or is just plain depressed because of it. Either way, it can be manifested in many forms.

The first encounter I had with the word was when I was 5. There was this song on the radio that went with the lines " I'll make love to you, like you want me to and I'd hold you tight, baby all through the night..." As children literally interpreted everything based on their innocence, I concluded "love" at that age to be hugging someone close to you at night. Kinda like my mom giving me that warm bear hug before saying good night. Imagine my mom's reaction when she heard me singing that song at home...hehe...

In a country where the late night news displays killings, robberies, and corruption 70% of the time and afternoon gossip is more of what's happening at the local entertainment grapevine, one could not help but think why stories of "love" rarely make it to the news nowadays.

If 125,000,000 are searching monthly for it, why then is it not commonly on the news?

Some look for it at one point in their lives or even their entire lives
Some shrug it off and decide that the pain left by it is more than enough to not look for it again.
Some are lucky to have it but they're too busy still looking for it
Some keep on playing until they realize they've run out of players
Some believe it would come
Some would try to define it
Some would try to live it
Some keep their fingers crossed for second chances

Some look at it as sacrifice
Some see it through 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Some see it in faith
Some see it in relationships
Some see it in material possessions
Some know it when they are happy with what they are doing

I can go on and on all morning trying to define it.
But for me it all comes down to these 5 statements

1. Love is waking up each day to another chance
2. Love is a hug, a kiss, or an arm on your shoulder letting you know that no matter what happens, you'd always have someone or people who would never give up on you
3. Love is giving the last cookie up (if you were cookie monster). :)
4. Love is happiness and pain combined in a blender...hehe...
5. Love for me might be different for what it may mean to you. It is highly subjective, prone to arguments and debates, and makes the smartest people dumb and the dumbest people would be rocket scientists...

but it all boils down to one meaning though...

you never would have truly lived if you hadn't loved.:)

Life seen through Facebook statuses part 1

So this was what I did, I randomly picked 100 friends out of the 403 friendships on my friend's list, compiled and grouped their fb statuses and this was what I came up with. It's a hodgepodge of everything and just about anything. It can make you laugh, think and cry, but dig a little bit deeper, and you might realize, you're like em too. :)

PART 1 − 30 OUT OF 100

1. Dear 2010, can you slow down a bit? , xoxo - Rose Dawn

2. if you can't get over me, it's your problem..not mine!!!!! - Devie Grace

3. ..and maybe a HAPPY ENDING doesn't include a guy, maybe ON YOUR OWN...picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something BETTER in the future...maybe the happy ending is just MOVING ON!
-- As 2010 comes to its end,,,maybe it's about time that i should LET GO of 2yrs in holding on :'( — Anna Marin

4. " before as I reminicing the past bitterness is always there and i always sayin just wait and see give me time and I will soar not until the moment GOD give me this message " enough son don't grieve for something you already miss" Keep focus instead what lies ahead life has something to offer all you have to do is remove the negativity and see how much I really love you" and I sigh " thanks BRO"-Jayson Gonzalvo

5. "The Day: Everything that you receive in life is a blessing. If you don't think it is, then treat it like one. God will never give you something that you can't handle. If you think you can't, then maybe you need to pray a little more and have faith a little more. In the end, you will have to realize that we're not living for ourselves but for Jah and the greater good. Thank you everyone. =)" - Connie Marie

6. I said this before, I'll say this again . . .i so love my job!:o). Thanks, MNC! Sana sa Monday, ganito pa rin nararamdaman ko . . .he he he . .-Jing Umadhay

7. is an idealist: he doesn't know where he's going, but he's on his way. - Chris Emague

8. What's 'sisig' in english? - Karen Bolfango

9.never wrestle with a pig! And there are 2 reasons why:
Number 1: You get yourself dirty and number 2: The pig loves it! - Lyle Cuenca

10. I'm a little T-Rex short and stout!!..hahaha - Athena Espinosa

11. bY alMigHtyS gRaCe..., gOt mA UAE dRiViN lIceNcE...! - Mohd Faiyas

12. my life would be purposeless without you- Althea Lavigne

13.Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford
How far are you from achieving your goals for 2010? How did fear prevent you from reaching them? - Trace Trajano

14. rain rain go away...busy MM wants to party parteeh! ♥ ♥ ♥ - MM Salutin

15. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
Robert Louis Stevenson- Eva Tafgar Roca

16. lee min ho is so handsome!- Cindy Balahadia

17. Maybe for the rest of the world it's an out of the ordinary scenario that a celebrity figure and sports hero like Manny makes it to congress, but in the Philippines, it's a trend. It's like a sure ticket to politics. - Maila Beniera

18. for 17 years, complete ko na naman ang simbang gabi. thank you ness sa pagsama sa Baclaran Church kahapon. Happy Christmas to all. may God bless us always. :-)-Merthel Ubugan

19. The cold weather makes me so lazy, I feel like I need to go to hibernate and come back to life when normal temp returns. - Eisee Macabeo

20. Congrats Sean Estrada for being the TOP THREE in PAM Accreditation 2010..I am so proud of you!! Love you..kahit bothered ka na baka hindi ka makapasa, you still made it on top!!!! yeah! SBARRO na ito..haha I'm so excited..hihi=) - Hazel Ubal

21. Dec.24,2010 3:30 pm me and Santie witnessed a sad xmas eve as fire almost destroyed a building in Guadalupe makati. standing outside the site i was saddened thinking how will those people celebrate xmas with nothing but the clothes they were wearing... =( - Zaiza Tiangha Santiago

22. mixed feelings... twisted! ...........which way?????? - Tina Fajardo Santiago

23. Cogito ergo sum - I think, therefore I am - Eden Dayrit

24. christmas is coming and im alone.i mz my family.i mz rashille.i mz all - Nero Cayago

25. still no internet here at home huhuhu i'm so sad -Sylvia Nica Caoili

26. I will pray for you everyday. This will be my way of loving you in 2011. - Bo Sanchez

27. never give up..when your heart becomes tired,walk with your legs..but move on..-MJ Panes

28. nguya lng ng nguya hanggang mawala ung lasa..hehe..!- Jinkee Guilaran

29.‎"Love deeply and passionately. You might be hurt but it's the only way to live life completely." Happy Holy Family!:)- Phoebe Bonifacio

30. imortal na! - Leah Sucgang


hehe...i love the last one most...
part 2 to follow tomorrow...sigh...slumber mode for now...

the stock market experience

I suck big time at Mathematics.

Seeing numbers was just like remembering that 78 grade I got from Algebra way back in high school. But after reading a few finance books and realizing that if I want to get a go at being a financially literate person, I would have to love numbers, or else, its good bye to my bank account and everything with it.

We attended a short seminar at a brokerage company called Citiseconline around 3 weeks ago. The trainer, the vice president of Citisec told us very clearly that day trading is a lot of risk. Bo Sanchez a famous preacher here in the Philippines also said to just leave the trading to the traders. But then again, since there's much a much bigger return at the riskier investment, we decided to give it a try.




The first stock we invested at was Petron. Good thing, there was a lot of hoopla regarding it being acquired by San Miguel. Thus, we decided to give it a try and buy stocks worth 20,000 for 14.70/share from Petron. For three days, we owned a part of Petron, and just when we felt it was right to do so, we parted with it at 16.20/share. I recall seeing the stock price go up. We would have made much more, but seeing that we made around 2000 bucks in just 2 days, it was a good investment, or probably as old people would usually say, just beginner's luck.

A week after, we computed possible earnings and decided to put our money at a company called Abacus. It showed potential with a yearly return of profit at 500 million. The stocks first traded at 0.85, we bought it at 0.90 per share. We made a mistake though, we forgot to check the holidays, and since the 24th and the 27th were both public holidays, our money stayed stagnant for 4 days. Awhile ago, the ticker screen (the screen that displays stock prices) was open once again. The 0.90 stock increased to 0.94 in just 10 minutes, then as quickly as it went up, the stock plummeted down to 0.86 before I could even press the "sell button". I was looking at the red on the screen and the numbers showing we lost 800 pesos already.




I was still keeping my fingers crossed, but I was looking glum. It was probably just beginner's luck. And just when I was about to text my fiancee to tell him we lost 800, the stocks changed from red to green. The 0.90 stock became 0.91 and closed at that price. Phew! That was one close call! I checked our portfolio and it showed we earned almost 200 pesos. Some would say it is too low, for me, I was just thankful we did not loose any money.

Now, after boring you with the long experience on trading at stocks, I realized some things. Hopefully, it would help some beginning day traders to know when to quit and when to keep on holding. (note: these were only based on what I observed)

1. When there's some news regarding a company and its good, people go into a buying frenzy. Watch that stock from the opening to the closing and observe if what I am saying is right. If people go into a buying frenzy, the stocks increase like crazy too. And so does your money, if you put it at that stock.

2. Know when to pull out - people loose thousands of pesos and even millions at the stock market because they get too greedy. Like me awhile ago, I was thinking the stock prices of Abacus would go up to 1 pesos per share.

3. In relation to number 1, if there is no news about the company after the buying frenzy, sell your stock fast (especially if the company is not listed at the top 30) it's better to have gained some, than too loose everything.

Oh and last but not the least, trading in stocks is like trading in real life. You may be in the red sometimes (like what happened to the people at Manila whose houses got burned by a fire last 24th) but everything is just temporary unless you want it to be. Companies change to green when they gain profit or are posting strong returns, so is life. You can only win, if you believe you can and if you try to evaluate yourself. Then you improve on your weak points and get on with life.

Awhile ago, I felt really bad seeing the red ticker screen on my Abacus stocks, but then I realized that everything is just temporary. Change comes more often. Sometimes things do not always turn out as planned but in the end, it's your next actions after the changes that matter most.

But tomorrow, I'd say goodbye to Abacus. And I do hope, it would be one good decision. Fingers crossed, ticker screen hopefully greener, the numbers much better.






And that's coming from someone who hates Mathematics. lol

Of Getting Thin and Diets

I was born 6 pounds but 26 years later now weigh 63 kilos.


Like majority of women in the world who are more happy loosing weight than gaining money (no pun intended), I am one of those who look at the mirror and see the flabby thighs and the muffin top oozing out of my hips.

A Kid's Dilemma

Since I was young, I had this hate and love relationship with food.

When I was five and forced to do those little beauty pageants parents love entering their kids into, I was asked just one question during the final round, "What is your favorite food?" . I looked around and saw the audience smiling, thought it was best to answer what I know and answered with confidence "anything as long as it is edible". Then the audience burst into laughter and I cried on stage thinking I got it all wrong.

3 years later at school, I saw a fat kid with a double chin. Upon going home, I barely touched my food and told my mom the food on the table would make me loose my neck. It was then and there that I promised to strain my neck every morning and check it daily on the mirror just in case the food I ate made it disappear...phew!

Teenage Angst
During adolescence, the fat disappeared and some curves began to show. But still, my legs were not shapely like everybody else's and I had a waistline of 27cm. At that time, the only ideal waistline was a 23 or a 24. Bigger than that, you're a walking flabby girl.

Now 26 years later, after countless diets of varied types, I have outlined which have worked for me and which didn't. Some were easy to stick to, some were a little bit more daunting.

1. The Oatmeal Diet
date tested: Feb 2005 in preparation for a College Ball
reason: needed to fit into that dress
plan: 1 week of nothing but oatmeal and brown bread with tuna.
result: lost 2 cm off my waist
sustainability: only good for instant and short term weight loss
and might lead to vitamin or nutrient deficiency if continued



2. The Muffin Top Diet
date tested: September 2010
reason: get rid of the muffin top and save on medication for allergies
plan: not to eat anything that can be a potential allergen for 1 week
result: 1 cm off my waist, 2kg off the scales
sustainability: unless you can thrive on water then do this
didn't help much with my chronic hives either (now I developed new allergies on new food I wasn't allergic to before)

3. The Water Therapy Diet
date tested: January 2008
reason: loose weight and pass my urinalysis exam
plan: not to eat anything with MSG or preservatives, drink up on the coconut water and plain water
result: white urine, a passed urinalysis exam, and some dark circles underneath my eyes, 2kg in one week, 2cm off the waist
sustainability: just good for medical check-ups...hehe

4. The Vegan Diet
date tested: May 2005
reason: detox, cleansing, loose weight
plan: no meat, dairy or seafood for 1 month , big heavy breakfast, fiber packed lunch, no dinner
result: frequent bathroom trips, lesser pimple breakouts, pinkish glow on the cheeks, 4cm off the waist, 5kg in one month
sustainability: high budget (imagine oil has to be olive oil and not plain vegetable oil) , everything has to be organic, can lead
to late night sneaking on the fridge for something to eat

5. The Pink Pill Diet / Hokkaido Diet
date tested: December 2010 to present
reason: loose out the weight I gained after going to Dubai
plan: 2 tablets before breakfast daily
result: less puffier face in 1 week, lost some fat in the abdomen and leg areas, still under observation
sustainability: depends on the result after finishing one bottle
fears: side-effects?

6. The Badminton Work-out
date tested: August 2010
reason: loose weight
plan: 2-3h badminton every night
result: 2kg in 3 days with controlled diet and lots of water
sustainability: due to muscle strain and my face drying out at the Dubai humidity, I kept at it for only a week
note: felt good afterwards but you wake up to pain on your arms or legs if you do not have a proper work-out.

7. The French Diet
date tested: July 2007
reason: loose weight but still eat what I want
plan: eat smaller portions, smell and savor the food before swallowing it
result: 3kg in 2 weeks
sustainability: good but can be destroyed once you go out with friends or family
note: without exercise, I lost weight and did not feel guilty even though I nibbled on my favorites every now and then

That may not be much of a diet list but I do hope I have altered your perceptions on things. There are quick fixes, like what I am doing right now. But you can also choose those which your lifestyle would complement. In the end, it would come back to why you want to loose weight. Me, it makes me feel good. I am not hoping to be like those Victoria Secret Models or those ramping it up on the runway, I just want to feel healthy and good about myself.

If I achieve my ideal weight and stick to it, I feel light and I feel less sickly.
It's not just about fearing I'd loose my neck. It's now more of me wanting to live longer and take control.



Now, can we eat a slice of cake? (wink)

My Cheapest Hives Cure Ever

It has been two years since the elevated itchy red bumps on my skin first came out.

At first glance, I thought it was some sort of insect bite from bed bugs or mosquitoes. Being a self confessed hypochondriac, I searched the web for immediate cures and creams to the so-calle insect bite. I applied Caladryl and even hydrocortisone. The bumps then became less protruding, but after eating meals, it came back out again. This time on other parts of my body even on my face and lips.

That was when I realized I had some sort of allergy which was probably triggered by my vacation to Pampanga. Either it was the dust, the stress, the "laing" (taro leaves with coconut milk) or just the weather. But then nonetheless, I was completely clueless as to how it started.

I then was diagnosed with having chronic hives. And I was having reactions to not just one but multiple food items. I could not and was not allowed to eat poultry, eggs, dairy, cheese, seafood, pork, anything with too much artificial preservatives, canned food items, dried fish, pineapples, mangoes, eggplants, okras, and even some spices.

With my hives being chronic, it meant I had it for life. I got frustrated, stressed, and at the same time, wondered if the Good Lord wanted me to go on a forced diet. But since the food items listed on my "not to eat" list was alot, I refused to follow it. And so the bumps came and became ugly elevated wheals.

I told myself, that's what medicines are for right? For me to still eat what i want to eat.

But before going the easy way with meds, I tried natural methods. I went on a strict 1 week detox diet which consisted of a detox formula my nutritionist aunt made, half a cup of Virgin Coconut oil, and no white rice, no meat stuff. Everything was organic, had fiber or was meant for me to go to the toilet every 2 hours. After flushing everything out, I felt good and the bumps went away, but then each time I ate, the bumps still returned. It was then that I found out I was allergic to seaweed, oats, and even whole grain too. Phew!

Since detox didn't work. There was only one option left and that was steroids to control the inflammation.

I had been drinking Celestamine, Betamethasone, and even Dextramethasone for the allergies. Every time the red bumps showed, the drugs forced my immune system to go back to normal. But it only controlled the external manifestation of the hives. Deep down, my immune system was still making unexpected reactions to food thinking it is there to harm my body.
After two years of consuming steroids, and after noticing that I am beginning to slouch like an old lady and tend to accumulate fat fast I decided to search for other cures.

I tried a chinese cream which worked at first but only lasted for an hour. The hives then showed on other body parts, and it was like playing chase the hives or something that I soon got frustrated and decided to look for other means.

After 4 hours of searching the net and realizing that hives is sometimes triggered by stress, I thought to myself, if I could control the stress it would probably go away.

Then came the options, either I go get a massage or try a cup of tea.

I preferred the cheaper way, A cup of green tea every morning at breakfast. At first, the bumps became less elevated, then it slowly disappeared. And voila, the hives did not and have not been coming out for two weeks now. I ate eggs and even chicken and still no red bumps.




So there, my cheapest hives cure ever. I am not sure how this works, or why it worked for me, but I surely did save myself from side-effects and a slouched back.

Till here then, the cup of tea at the counter is running cold. I do hope this works for other people too. :) And if it does for you too, please let me know. :) Oh and before I forget, only green tea works for me. The other kinds have no effect.

a poem called flu

holding back a sniffle or two
believing there is
a cure for you

i wipe my nose dry
only to see
you have come
back
again for me

i tried to calm myself
to breathe in
breathe out
i try to relax
left no room
for doubt
that you'd soon go away
you'd soon let me be
you'd leave me to sleep
peacefully and free

but then you stayed
like an incessant prick
i am feeling worst
i am feeling sick

and so am left with no choice
but to
sneeze you out
bad virus called
flu

things will go my way

chasing dreams
like kites
floating
in the air
only to be
falling down
again
with a gust
of wind
strong enough
to pull
me down
yet never
strong enough
to stop
me
from trying
to soar
high
yet again

Falling in Love (from Kent Nurburn)

Falling In Love

It is a mystery why we fall in love.
It is a mystery how it happens.
It is a mystery when it comes.
It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do
anymore than take the life out of the experience.

Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in
the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities
that two people share.

And just as life is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love
must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full
flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the
dream we all share.

More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move
on.

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to
them, refusing to see that it is gift that is freely given and a gift that just as freely, moves
away.

When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try
desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was,
then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them
that makes the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change,
thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again.

They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life
together, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what happened. But there is no meaning beyond the
love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and to accept it.
You need to treat what it brings you with kindness.

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's
heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her, feel honoured that love
came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take
advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all
our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to
leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a
meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it
for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then
reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor
in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. This is where many lovers go
wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see
their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as
something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to
seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead
becomes someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away..

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its
own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into
staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But
if it choose to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you
can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

If you keep your heart open, it will come again.

Kent Nerburn
from the book "Letters To My Son"

looking back

You looked back. Realized that time is but fleeting and there are memories much better left unattended than thought about. But still the memories came. Like ghosts haunting you each time, you manage to remember, and you can't help but look back.

The leaves drifted lazily with the breeze. Your hair was a mess and there he was, standing still as if he owned the world and you were but a mirage. You knew you'd regret looking back the moment you did. He looked at your eyes and you knew somehow, there'd be this third chance waiting to happen. Forget about the last time he broke your heart, you'd erase it as if it were chalk on blackboard. You and he would start all over again. Somehow you'd manage to patch the pieces he broke. You keep telling yourself that and somehow you're believing to believe it's possible.

You started taking that step back. He smiled. You smiled. Then you both held hands and knew that everything was forgotten at that instant when your hands connected with his. He'd not do that again right?

Somehow, you convince yourself he learned his lesson.

You never learned yours.

You're wiping your tears, but still they kept falling. You looked for him and he was not around anymore. Dumb. You keep telling yourself you're like that. You should have never taken that step back. You were his perfect girl and whatever he could not manage to do with you, there'd always be another who would be more than willing. His other hand would be holding yours and the other a phone number he got from some club he went to the night before.

He called you again. You heard his voice. You wiped your tears, gathered what is left of your pride and kept walking. You wanted to look back. You wanted to see him stand there and see what he has lost.

But a hand clasped yours.

Not his.

It was about time you take that step forward. And as you took the hand that clasped yours, you knew there were no more fourth chances...it was hard not to look back...but somehow you've found someone who would get you through...

And he would never make you cry...

nor look back.