Wednesday, January 26, 2011

3 to 4 in the morning

Image from Photoshop Art @ Flickr

The clock on the right side of my laptop changed from 3:42 to 3:43am. From a distance the roosters echoed out their orchestrated shouts while I heard the door of my bathroom creaking, its hinges rusty from water sprayed during bath time.

My brain began to fall slowly to slumber. To the place where people had wings and each scene changed from happy to bad to weird in less than a minute. Inception? Or perhaps just wide awake and dreaming. I looked around and the only light I see is my screen and a mobile charger with an eerie blue glow.

Yes, I am still wide awake.

But my fingers moved on their own, a pit pat on the keyboard while my fan whirred incessantly. I managed to blink my lids, my eyes fighting my brain against going back towards the covers where pillows and sheep jumping over fences waited.

There's too much going on inside my brain. I browsed through facebook, then to a finance forum, then through blogger. My thoughts a jumble of status updates, bus explosions at Manila, to stock prices snapping back up after a five day low.

Everybody seemed to have their own say on everything.

People calling for attention or perhaps just voicing out the random nerve impulses their brains send to their hands. Happy, sad, excited, proud, or just selling a few colored shoes at bargain prices. Either way, the status updates showed a group of people I am connected with. Either by blood or friendship, they echo my ramblings, like a gong vibrating loud.

Loud. Politicians and every civic group are all crying out for justice over a bomb placed below a bus seat leaving 2 dead. Despite intel, people focused on the latest entertainment news and who got married with whom, nobody got cautious of 2 people riding a bus with a bag and leaving without it. Fear is present and alive.

Alive and resurrected from after 5 days of watching red, I grinned like a Cheshire cat upon seeing green on the ticker screen this morning. Celebration and cash flowing in, the Philippines' stock market thrived on good news. As of yesterday morning, the good news was people are much more optimistic about the government. The foreign investors thought so too.

I am happy that they did.
I am hoping they still think so until today.

Today, my eyes fight to stay awake battling my brain. A hardheaded pair trying to control the center of my thoughts. But as the winner stood proud over the defeated, my eyelids begin to slowly close. White flag waving up and down.

The sound of a motorcycle woke me up again. I muttered a prayer to please make tomorrow much better than today as the clock on the right side of my laptop now showed 4:06.

From a distance the roosters could still be heard, my bathroom door creaked, a dog barked...

and I know my prayer had been heard.

Monday, January 24, 2011

fighting bears

a ticker screen
with a green
which turned
into a
then a
in less
than 5 minutes
with cash
down the
fear creeping
like a
its bag
full of everything
that i had
for the
past 2
now wondering
did the
bull go
and why
did the
bear come
to clutch
its reigns
on me
on money
on fear

but like
everyone else
i'd stay put
mind cleared
thoughts intact
that would
be enough
to fight
the bear
and turn
ticker screen
from a
to a

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Philippine's Secret Cheap Getaways

Posting some cheap vacation getaways here in the Philippines.
Went to these places and loved it!

Go dip your feet at the cool waters of Majayjay and Liliw, buy some handmade slippers, take a trip down memory lane and see their old church, and eat your heart out at Arabela's at Rizal St.

photo from

Or perhaps go see the hanging coffins and cave spelunking at Sagada and conquer two caves at once. Be introduced to limestone formations named after human genitalias, oh, and animals too. :) For a more detailed travelogue on my Sagada trip, here's the link to my multiply site. and if it's a guide you're looking for just type and get the services of one of the best guides this trained group has to offer.

king's curtain formation

the wooden coffins

the king

rice terraces

or perhaps you'd rather see century old lighthouses and jump from a cliff at Bolinao, Pangasinan
one of the oldest lighthouse in the philippines

ocean jumping at solomonsparadise resort

beach view

or better yet go ghost hunting at some old houses and ruins at Silay, Negros Occidental

oh, and did i mention we're considered one of the happiest people too?

photo by: malou

see you in the philippines! :)


you stare
and try
to gauge
and odd
on what
is right

as if
the world
a hamster
with its

to realize
not the
nor the
that is


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Of Swan Lake and Pussycat Dolls

coordinated with
every thump
every pause
to movements
not understood
arms moving
up and down
to side
a tube
with colors
a three
year old
dreams of
a ballerina
to Pussycat dolls

:) For my 3 year old niece Ela,hope you'd see this someday and laugh.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


photo by

a pile of papers
on a messed up desk
a computer screen
a cup of coffee
some breadcrumbs
a fan
turning around
but the room

a certificate
on the wall
a reminder
of medals
and honors

a ballpoint pen
on paper
on a bin
adjacent to
an unmade bed

where a girl
while clutching
a card
a grade
just a
of being
the best


photo by malou

If I could count the words and tell
What the mind has failed to see
If I do know my thoughts so well
Why can't they let me be
If a clock's tick could stop for once
I'd fall into my dreams
I'd be a victor in this dance
Of pain and joy it seems
But then as all could not be good
And thorns do prick to bleed
I'd stand up again from where I stood
And love the one I need

poem written for the school paper way back college.

A Story on Appreciation

prelude: this story was sent by a friend. hope it would touch your heart as it touched mine, oh and i do hope you give a call to those people that you need to call to afterwards also, or perhaps just give them a big hug.

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements
were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it
was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My
mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to
show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"

The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read
more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean
your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went
back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His
mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands
to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that.
It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so
wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were
so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands
that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee.
The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to
pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."

The youth said,

Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be a successful me today.

Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a
person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a
person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every
employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance
improved tremendously.


A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted,
would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself
first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts
work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he
becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees
and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good
academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not
feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and
fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really
showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano,
watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them
experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls
together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not
have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a
right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents
are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that
young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to
appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the
ability to work with others to get things done.

You would have shared many stories to many and many of them would have back
mailed you too...but try and forward this story to as many as
possible...this may change somebody's fate...

Migraine Remedies...from a nutritionist to a nurse

Ever had that feeling when you just want to bang your head on the wall to just divert the pain a little? Ever felt needles being stuck on your brain? Or has your vision gone nuts and everything is a blur. Me, I felt like there were little people playing bowling on my head. phew!

photo courtesy of

It started occurring way back 2001. I'd get this bouts of pain on my head starting from the neck up to the frontal lobe. Like everybody else battling with it, I wanted a cure fast. But since painkillers don't work for me anymore, I decided to look for alternatives.

Here's my list of what worked for me.
It has been a year since my last migraine attack. :) Consider it progress number 1, my progress with hives (see labels on cures) is progress number read on, tell me what you think, and hope this helps you or someone else you love

1. Choosing Food Wisely

chocolates, though considered to be good brain food have been my number 1 migraine trigger. I still get a bite every now and then, but prefer the dark chocolate ones than the sweet milky bars. Load up on fruits and vegetables, steer clear from msg (monosodium glutamate) and use as little portions of butter as much as possible. In short, eat more food grown from plants not manufactured from plants.

2. Nutritionist advice: garlic, honey, and philippine lemon/ lemon
I got this from my aunt who is a vegetarian and is a nutritionist. Here's the concoction.
-2 cloves raw garlic (finely chopped to small pieces)
-1 tbsp of honey
-1 tsp of lemon juice
mix and drink.

(note: the garlic induces sleep, don't take if you're going to travel or going to work) then rest and get some sleep. wake up happy.:) note: for sore throat and colds, roast the garlic then drizzle honey and lemon juice. for cough: add fresh washed oregano leaves to the concoction.

3. Nurse advice: Grab your hair gently from the ends
My best friend connie used to do this to my head way back college.

It feels good and at the same time calms you down. This massages your scalp and at the same time relaxes your nerve endings. Don't grab your hair too strongly though. :)
4. De-stress
Go away for awhile by yourself and just enjoy nature tripping or going on a vacation.
Drink a cup of green tea
Get a massage.
Laugh more, worry less.

I am not a doctor just a hypochondriac trying to solve my health problems one problem at a time.

If this helps, or if you have anything else to add, feel free to do so, it might help some people too.

note: I am not against manufactured medicines, I'm just a little bit cautious about the side effects... :)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Being Twenty Something (from an email)

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as

You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to
know better.

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.


To feel the air brushing against your face
To experience pressure in greater heights
If one would believe then one could soar
Into realms not yet discovered and dreams yet fulfilled
Into that next stage, into that next frontier
It does not take a fairy tale for wishes to come true
Around you, you have what is essential for your flight
You just have to believe that you have wings
And then you can fly...


written: june 2006 at myspace

he said cry your tears
then it would all fade away
he told me you'd soon forget
the way he made you sway
but the emptiness stayed
you wondered when it would be gone
you still cried those tears
though it seems there be none
none to hope
and none to feel
none to hold on
but one big thing to deal
life can be harsh
sometimes its even cruel
but what has bruised you bad
really does sometimes rule
but then in the end
it all comes down to this
he told you those words
and it seems you've missed
what he said behind your tears
what he wants you to see
he'll erase all those fears
if you'll just set your heart free
now its too late to turn back
he's with someone else
and you're alone with what you lacked
and this poem makes no sense
what i'm trying to say
is love before its gone
look behind your back
he may just be the one
for in the end you'd realize
if you wont believe this is true
is that you may have allowed
that one person to slip
yes, that one person for you.

little things (wrote last june 2008 at myspace)

photo by: karen tribett

bleed your tears then let them dry
ask yourself if you've done wrong and why
wallow in self pity, you're entitled to it sometimes
ask why you're not worthy, to possess just that dime
but you dance to life's tune, believe there's still hope
a rainbow behind the storm, one should not stop to mope
about things that have gone wrong
sometimes they really do
what one has to do is to be strong
believe you could really pull through
we all have our bruises , we all have our pains
we all had experienced glory, we all had gains
but if you look back you'd realize you had been happy before
you had little, you had less, but you had much more
no amount of wealth, nor success could replace real friends
those who would stick with you, through pain in the end
happiness is but fickle for those who aspire too much
realize your worth and you'll realize it does not mean such
life could be a pain, usually it even bleeds deep
but it also wakes you up to the things that you should keep
those that you hold dear, those that matter the most
those which make you smile, some you may think as ghosts
ghosts which you could really reach
if you'd open your eyes, if you'd seek
these little things that will always be real
these little things, they will always be true
despite the world's trials
these little things will stick
by you.

(written: june8, 2008: myspace blog)

on the road through baclaran

A child squatting on the pavement peeing on the side of the street.
A family sleeping on the grass beside uncollected garbage bags with flies circling around.
A few young men playing cards and betting some coins.
A mother washing clothes beside a urinal.
A man peddling yellow corn on a pushcart wiped his hands on some dirty rags then went back again to arranging his wares
A hawker selling some pirated cds and dvds for 50 pesos.
And every now and then an occasional lovers spat where the male drags the female by the hair amidst too much screaming and pedestrians looking by.

I have always wondered what happened to:
the government with all its promises of helping the poor
the church which is a few meters beside it
the society which passes by these scenes every day without doing anything (or i am just not aware of it)

I have also wondered why:
these people have moved to manila in the first place
these people choose to live along the streets
these people were not relocated
I seem to be the only one noticing

or has everybody noticed it too and includes it in:
the candles that are lighted every day
the novenas that are said every wednesday
the votes they pass next election

i am hoping that:
this scene would change soon
this scene would improve
this scene would make


open your eyes

this country
with people
so blessed

see the small

Sunday, January 09, 2011


Love-an intense feeling of deep affection with 125,000,000 people searching for it or its related term every month at google. If you look at google images for pictures of it, there's 1,580,000,000 images for it.

I don't think so.

Look at what's currently trending at yahoo and you'd find love poems as one of them (that is as of 3:57am this morning).

Everybody it seems is looking for it, is wanting to define it, is wanting to put it in words, or is just plain depressed because of it. Either way, it can be manifested in many forms.

The first encounter I had with the word was when I was 5. There was this song on the radio that went with the lines " I'll make love to you, like you want me to and I'd hold you tight, baby all through the night..." As children literally interpreted everything based on their innocence, I concluded "love" at that age to be hugging someone close to you at night. Kinda like my mom giving me that warm bear hug before saying good night. Imagine my mom's reaction when she heard me singing that song at home...hehe...

In a country where the late night news displays killings, robberies, and corruption 70% of the time and afternoon gossip is more of what's happening at the local entertainment grapevine, one could not help but think why stories of "love" rarely make it to the news nowadays.

If 125,000,000 are searching monthly for it, why then is it not commonly on the news?

Some look for it at one point in their lives or even their entire lives
Some shrug it off and decide that the pain left by it is more than enough to not look for it again.
Some are lucky to have it but they're too busy still looking for it
Some keep on playing until they realize they've run out of players
Some believe it would come
Some would try to define it
Some would try to live it
Some keep their fingers crossed for second chances
Some look at it as sacrifice
Some see it through 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Some see it in faith
Some see it in relationships
Some see it in material possessions
Some know it when they are happy with what they are doing

I can go on and on all morning trying to define it.
But for me it all comes down to these 5 statements

1. Love is waking up each day to another chance
2. Love is a hug, a kiss, or an arm on your shoulder letting you know that no matter what happens, you'd always have someone or people who would never give up on you
3. Love is giving the last cookie up (if you were cookie monster). :)
4. Love is happiness and pain combined in a blender...hehe...
5. Love for me might be different for what it may mean to you. It is highly subjective, prone to arguments and debates, and makes the smartest people dumb and the dumbest people would be rocket scientists...

but it all boils down to one meaning though...

you never would have truly lived if you hadn't loved.:)